If those jerks steal this post as well, I’m going to be sad. It’s quite personal!
Sorry about putting this here guys. There’s this new site that has been stealing all my content (and content from a lot of other great bloggers) called Anime Sensai. They really suck. But I figure I might as well use the opportunity for some advertising. So if you actually came across this post on Anime Sensai, please know that 1 – they did not write it and 2 – although their bots are doing a pretty good job at stealing posts from all over as soon as they are published, they don’t seem to do to great at lifting al the awesome screencaps I collected or all the extra material bloggers put into their content. So make sure to go visit the source link you see on top of posts and as for this one, just come visit my blog: I Drink and Watch Anime. I post daily and actually have awesome readers to interact with. I’m going t be posting this paragraph on top of my posts for a little while. I hope it doesn’t annoy you guys too much.
It’s this time of year again. The time when I take a minute and look back on what this blog and all of you have meant to me this year.
I think you can sort of see my blog history through these titles:
- I Drank and Watched Anime in 2017
- I Still Drank and Watched Anime in 2018
- I Continued to Drink and Watch Anime in 2019
- I Survived 2020 by Drinking and Watching Anime
- I Had to Drink and Watch Anime to Survive 2021
So where do I begin?
Surprisingly, as I look back, I have to say that in general 2022 has been a good year for me. A quiet, understated type of good. The type of good you don’t appreciate or even notice until you actually take stock and realize, huh, things are going pretty well. Since I didn’t take time to celebrate throughout the year, I didn’t enjoy it properly and that’s a shame.
So writing my little posts on I Drink and Watch Anime has been…good. But it has also been different. In the few years I have been doing this, the anime blogging landscape has changed dramatically. A lot of the folks I used to interact with almost daily have gone on to do different things. A lot of the trends and preoccupations of the anime blogging space have evaporated. All in all, it’s a much quieter and less active space. At least in my opinion.
That has its ups and downs. I certainly miss the tighter-knit sense of community that was brought about by all the activities and collaborations we used to have. I know that a lot of bloggers have either stopped watching anime, took on new real-life challenges that have left them unable to continue blogging, or moved on to platforms they can more easily monetize. I don’t blame them at all, I just miss them a bit. I hope they all know they are always welcome to come back should they want to.
Blogging is an odd hobby. Depending on how you chose to tackle it, it can be very time intensive. I know that I would have a LOT more free time if I decided to have a different hobby. In fact, I started curling a few months ago. I go twice a week for a couple of hours. There’s a surprising amount of university students there. I don’t know if it’s a new so lame it’s cool thing to do for the kids or if there was always an underground curling subculture that I just wasn’t a part of before. It’s not bad. I get to move around a bit and meet new people. And it’s about 4 hours a week, which is way less than what I devote to blogging.
But that’s not the only reason I do it of course. I always said that I started blogging because I wanted a way to share my love of anime with others and I didn’t have anyone in my real life to do that with. Well, that’s changing as well. For years now I have had colleagues that borrow my manga and ask for anime recommendations, but it’s usually for their kids. Sometimes they’re very young kids and I’m at a loss.
This year, however, I have met a few people close to my age who love anime almost as much as I do. We lend each other manga and geek out over upcoming shows. We send each other gifs and screencaps as a way of communicating. Talking about anime in real life is not what I’m used to. Not once have I been called stupid for not loving a certain show or for loving another. It’s an adjustment, that’s for sure. One that I am very happy to make.
Basically, 2022 has had some new experiences and little expansions of my offline life that have all been quite positive. And what does that mean for my blog?
I won’t lie, I did think about moving on at some point in the year. Just packing it up and trying something else, like a lot of others have before me. Even though the anime blogging space is quieter, we do have some fantastic young bloggers taking over and every day some really thoughtful and well-written posts get published. I know that I can leave this place in good hands.
I really tried to put myself in that space. I tried to imagine what t would be like to just watch an anime and then…watch another. No spending time curating screencaps and creating gifs. No need to overanalyze every detail or stare at a blank page trying desperately to come up with something to say about a show I really liked but have nothing to say about. I pictured how zen it would be to live without snarky comments questioning my completely subjective impressions of anime or how peaceful a world without contentious anime debates could be.
And I didn’t like it! No, I really didn’t. I want to spend hours pouring over screenshots of anime. I enjoy it. I love the art f anime and having a practical reason to really take the time to take it in and appreciate it is great! And although I don’t always like the posts I put out on anime I don’t have any clear thesis about, I always like writing them. I just do. I enjoy sitting down and thinking about shows I have watched, what they meant to me and what they taught me. How I can apply those lessons to the world around me. It’s a selfish thing, I do it for me.
I will say, I don’t love formatting posts. If I could have an editor I think I would find the whole blogging experience infinitely easier. But then again, when I find the perfect screencaps to put in somewhere, it gives me a special little thrill. So maybe I don’t want to give that art up entirely.
What I would give up is promoting my blog. I am rather introverted and not a natural salesman. I have always been just plain bad at self-promotion. It has probably hurt my views but I think it’s also made blogging more enjoyable for me. That’s a fair trade-off.
But most of all, I realized right away that I would miss you all. I would miss those kind comments that cheer me up on days that are just meh. It would be a shame if I couldn’t read those alternative takes or comments about the little things, I missed in a show r episode. They really open my eyes sometimes. And honestly, I will never have the types of conversations about the anime community and anime in general that we have in the comments, in real life. There’s a special type of passion that’s cultivated online that hasn’t yet made it out of those confines. And that passion fuels more than just vitriol. Sometimes it fuels genuine conversation and I crave that.
Honestly, as I look back on the year, you guys have been great. In my personal bubble (I’m not talking about social media outside of this blog) there has been a burst of positivity and open-mindedness, possibly encouraged by some really great anime that came out this year. And the fact that I could experience this with you is one of the things that made 2022 a good year!
I know that if I want more activities or collaborations in this space, I could organize them. I’m kind of lazy and introverted so it’s not my first instinct but I might try something. If I get some help. I could scale back to posting 3 or 4 times a week. This would still make me very active while cutting my actual workload in half. I have no clue why I haven’t done that already. Every time I decide to try it, I figure I’ll just wait until my prescheduled posts run out then I get a bout of inspiration and end up with three months’ worth in my scheduled posts.
So here’s the plan for 2023: do the same thing as 2022 but learn to appreciate it. I’m not going to make any promises or set out any rules for the year. I’m going to keep writing as I have been about whatever I feel like. But I am going to try a few things out.
I use to shout out new blogs every week. This was actually a bit of a challenge as I had very structured posts with a lot of requirements, and it became difficult to sustain. It also happened once or twice that bloggers did not want a shout-out. A lot of bloggers link to my posts and I always really appreciate it. So I didn’t think anything of it when I did it for other people. But it seems that once in a while, someone doesn’t want to just have their blog lined up without warning. For these reasons, I stopped my shoutouts and round-up posts.
I want to start them up again. It was a great way to make me feel a little more connected to the community and to make me discover new blogs. But I’ll be more relaxed about it. I’ll just write a post whenever I find new blogs I think you guys might like and leave it at that. And if you have any to recommend (including your own), let me know. I would really appreciate it.
I might also try to put together something like a blog tour or blogging prompts. Instead of a well-established group as we have had in the past though, I figured I would go for something much looser. I haven’t figured out all the details but basically, I was thinking that whenever I had an idea for a post where it would be interesting to get lots of different opinions, I could share it here and on Twitter, and maybe Discord. Then anyone who wants to write about it in the next three months or something can sign up and share a link to their post or main page that could be included in everyone else’s posts. That way we get that blog tour feel where every post leads to all the others and we all have this big shared discussion but there’s no long time commitment and it’s at a very relaxed pace. As I said, I need to iron out the details but that’s the general idea. Let me know if you think it’s going to be a disaster!
Usually, these posts are all mushy and emotional but I feel like I was all business this year. I should add some type of chart with my 2023 projections or something.
Let’s fix this.
The world is changing around me. Some things are better but a lot or not. The jury’s still out on a few and others still, are just plain scary. Sometimes the world can feel a little lonely and menacing for someone like me. But this little blog of mine and all of you who drop by and leave a comment or just a like, have made my world a little less lonely and a lot more cozy. I couldn’t ask for a better gift, and I would be a fool not to hold onto it for as long as I can!
In 2022 I learned that good things can pass you by while you’re not paying attention. That the best moments aren’t necessarily the loudest or the brightest. But if you just stop and take the time to really see the world around you, you might see some beautiful things.
I thank you all so much for another good year. I hope that when I write this post next year, I can say 2023, was even better. With you guys around, it seems like a reasonable goal.
All the best in 2023. I hope you will be happy and have fun. I hope that whatever demons haunt you get lazy and that most days, you won’t see them at all. I hope you will sleep well and eat good food. And I hope that once in a while you will enjoy a good drink and watch a good anime.
Irina
Word Press is being weird with me today. This may be a re-comment and if so, I apologize, but I’m not sure my comment posted.
I, for one, am super glad you’re still here and still sharing your thoughts on anime and the rest of life, too, with us. 2022 seems to have been a bit of a rough year for a lot of people in different ways. I have a vague feeling it might have to do with expectations. We are led to expect that everything is all back to normal – but you can’t put some genies back into the bottle and things are never going to go back to how they once were. There’s a new normal, and that’s uncomfortable, but…that’s…normal.
If you were to organize something I’d be interested. I’ve gotten pretty turned off of sharing anything online as the culture seems to be all about finding a weakness and attacking. It’s just feeling very negative out there lately. However, I think I could feel pretty safe talking about anime 😉 and if people attack me, well, I never said I was a typical anime fan and I really don’t much care what anyone else thinks about that. 😛
Which brings me to saying, we get it, you’re an introvert. And you’re not doing this for profit. So do whatever you are comfortable with, and don’t worry about the rest of it. You have established this amazing community here where we all feel safe to converse and express our opinions (however inane they may be in my case) and have a real actual discussion about things. That’s a pretty amazing accomplishment on the Internet! And I think it’s exactly what you wanted – a place to chat about anime with friends and fellow fans. So what’s not to love? I personally really love having a blog to read about anime or anything that isn’t all commercialized and trying to get me to click on something or buy something or promote something other than, hey, I liked this anime because of that. It’s just something really special these days. It’s what I hoped the Internet would be when it grew up.
Tanish Shrivastava – I know where you are coming from. There have been many years in my life that if things got going too good I’d start having anxiety attacks -serious ones – because I just knew that I must be missing something or something horrible was about to happen. Here’s what helps me – as awful as some of the things I’ve been through were – I’m HERE. I”M STILL STANDING. I survived it all – and even have a pretty damn good life now. Which, on occassion, causes me a tiny anxiety attack I swiftly put a stop to by reminding myself – I survived it all, I overcame it all, and that tells me that I CAN and i WILL always come through anything the world throws at me. You are here. You are with us, and sharing, and that tells me that you are also strong and you, too, will make it through. The second half of this is that having been through those things, you now know what you can do and need to do to protect yourself from at least those things that you can control. As time goes on you will develop that confidence that you will know what to do, and also since you know what to do you can do some things differently so that your life is structured to avoid painful experiences that you can avoid. I feel like I’m not making much sense. I’m sorry. Hang in there. It really does get better. And when it does, it’s okay to enjoy it. In fact, its imperative that you let yourself enjoy the good.
You, Irina, just imagine me smiling and doing a little happy dance. You are a sunshiney part of my life. 😀
I, for one, am super glad you’re still here and still sharing your thoughts on anime and the rest of life, too, with us. 2022 seems to have been a bit of a rough year for a lot of people in different ways. I have a vague feeling it might have to do with expectations. We are led to expect that everything is all back to normal – but you can’t put some genies back into the bottle and things are never going to go back to how they once were. There’s a new normal, and that’s uncomfortable, but…that’s…normal.
If you were to organize something I’d be interested. I’ve gotten pretty turned off of sharing anything online as the culture seems to be all about finding a weakness and attacking. It’s just feeling very negative out there lately. However, I think I could feel pretty safe talking about anime 😉 and if people attack me, well, I never said I was a typical anime fan and I really don’t much care what anyone else thinks about that. 😛
Which brings me to saying, we get it, you’re an introvert. And you’re not doing this for profit. So do whatever you are comfortable with, and don’t worry about the rest of it. You have established this amazing community here where we all feel safe to converse and express our opinions (however inane they may be in my case) and have a real actual discussion about things. That’s a pretty amazing accomplishment on the Internet! And I think it’s exactly what you wanted – a place to chat about anime with friends and fellow fans. So what’s not to love? I personally really love having a blog to read about anime or anything that isn’t all commercialized and trying to get me to click on something or buy something or promote something other than, hey, I liked this anime because of that. It’s just something really special these days. It’s what I hoped the Internet would be when it grew up.
Tanish Shrivastava – I know where you are coming from. There have been many years in my life that if things got going too good I’d start having anxiety attacks -serious ones – because I just knew that I must be missing something or something horrible was about to happen. Here’s what helps me – as awful as some of the things I’ve been through were – I’m HERE. I”M STILL STANDING. I survived it all – and even have a pretty damn good life now. Which, on occassion, causes me a tiny anxiety attack I swiftly put a stop to by reminding myself – I survived it all, I overcame it all, and that tells me that I CAN and i WILL always come through anything the world throws at me. You are here. You are with us, and sharing, and that tells me that you are also strong and you, too, will make it through. The second half of this is that having been through those things, you now know what you can do and need to do to protect yourself from at least those things that you can control. As time goes on you will develop that confidence that you will know what to do, and also since you know what to do you can do some things differently so that your life is structured to avoid painful experiences that you can avoid. I feel like I’m not making much sense. I’m sorry. Hang in there. It really does get better. And when it does, it’s okay to enjoy it. In fact, its imperative that you let yourself enjoy the good.
You, Irina, just imagine me smiling and doing a little happy dance. You are a sunshiney part of my life. 😀
Foovay!!!
So grateful you are here too 🤩
I think you are onto something when it comes to expectations
And my WordPress is strange too… or maybe my email? I don’t get notifications when it comes to replies 🤷♀️
It is always lovely to read what you write so I don’t think repeats are a bad thing
And I agree with you in that this site has quality at its core- something genuine and real is so rare and beautiful to find on the net
Happy New Year!
Next Sunday will be year of the rabbit- or year of the cat if you live in Vietnam! 😸
aww blush blush thank you, And see – this is exactly what I mean. Irina has created more than a blog, there is a COMMUNITY here because of her. *bows to Irina*
I wanna year of the CAT! Not that I don’t love bunnies…
Now I blush
Awww Foovay. I’ve said it before but it’s really being able to meet and interact with people like you that has made blogging so rewarding.
“huh, things are going pretty well.”
Normally, this realization means that I start to look around in panic, to see where would the other shoe drop from. I’m a very paranoid guy, and though bad things happening to me does make me sad, I’ve sort of gotten used to it. Good things are unexpected as a result, and result in suspicion, which is hidden from the public.
Let’s hope that your 2023 is well!
I’m not sure how old you are but I know I was a bit more paranoid in the same way when I was younger but I grew out of it. Eventually I realized that llife isn’t quite so rganized as to offer equilibrium.
Happy New Year:3
Glad you’re still here
Thank you Mononoke. Have a great 2023!
Ngl, I got a little worried you were leaving us! But I’m glad you’re choosing to stick around longer, at least for now. I absolutely would respect you for doing something else of course.
I will throw my hat in the ring and say if you were to organize something, a blog tour/blogging prompts I would participate. I think I entered the space at just the wrong time where I saw them being posted, but had no idea how to join/participate.
Otherwise, a great reflection post! I’m glad to be following you for so long and happy new year!
I got a few people thinking prompts might be fun. I’ll have to iron out those logistics details but I’m getting pretty motivated to try to put one together!
Sorry I’m not around as much, like to think I’m making better stuff and still find the occasional excuses to show some love to the old friends.
Sorry things haven’t been great but I’m glad one of my favorites is still going to be around.
Oh no, they have! Thanks for dropping by
I’ll join the chorus and say I’m glad you’re sticking around! I don’t join movements very often, either.
“All in all, it’s a much quieter and less active space.”
It sure seems that way. The site count is still high (I keep a list of anime sites, and it’s just a little above 325 right now), and the volume of posts is still pretty high. But in more and more cases, the content feels different. An increasing percentage of sites feel like they don’t emphasize a connection with the reader. In those cases, the posts make me feel like I’m reading something the writer thinks I want to read, rather than what the writer thinks.
Your site is not like that; I get a sense you’re sharing your own perspective. I can say the same about Lynn, Scott, Lita, Jane the Anime Witch, Dewbond, Dave, and several others (and if you’re reading this and I didn’t mention you, please don’t think that I’m lumping you in with the first group!) . These are the sites that I cherish the most.
Hope you have a great 2023.
“An increasing percentage of sites feel like they don’t emphasize a connection with the reader. In those cases, the posts make me feel like I’m reading something the writer thinks I want to read, rather than what the writer thinks.”
I can see why though. Why spend much time and effort on writing something, when post gets overlooked or there is zero community/engagement. If the writer feels like that’s what’s needed to gain some engagement or attention. I can’t fault them for trying that. Since readers are bouncing off, there is no way the author can gauge or understand what works, so that they can try to connect with the reader. You’re pretty much aware, I’m speaking from experience 😁😁.
I call bias!! 😂🤣😂🤣
You raise a good point. And I certainly did not mean to suggest any kind of writing is objectively good or bad.
But just from my perspective, if I’m not writing what I really think, why would I want anyone to read it in the first place?
Of course, there is an answer to that question. If you’re writing as a job, and if your blog is designed to drive clicks and earn ad revenue, that’s why. In that case, you’re absolutely right. If you don’t write in a way that caters to your audience, it’s the same as deciding to lower your income.
But that gets into why I think the incentive structure on the internet actively drives wedges between us. We’re paid, in essence, to _not_ communicate our true thoughts and feelings. If we try, we see a tangible reduction in income (in the cases were we use blogs as income).
I’m wrestling with that equation every day as I write novels! I worry about reader reactions to every character and every scene. If I don’t keep a reader in mind, I risk reduced sales. If I focus too much on what I think readers want, soon, I won’t be writing what is really in me to write. And then I would have to start questioning why I write in the first place. Fortunately, writing is not my job — and my real job pays the bills. That’s a key, because without my real job, I would likely have a very, very different perspective.
To be clear: I enjoy all of the blogs I visit. I really like your blog, and I could list the traits I like about it. I didn’t have your blog in mind when I talked about blogs that don’t emphasize a connection with their readers. In fact, I can confirm I don’t think about your blog in that way.
In the end, I was just trying to say this: in the case of I Drink and Watch Anime, one of the traits I enjoy is Irina’s ability to convey a unique and authentic perspective, one that is not burdened with the need to generate income.
And I really was not trying to say anything negative about any other sites!
Fair enough Crow. I’m not saying you were, since you enjoy their content a lot more, that’s alright to do so. That’s the nature of content creation.
I see your point. And it makes sense. With oer 300 anime blogs only, most people just won’t be able to engage with the majority of them. And most people just don’t engage on the internet to begin with. We all love to be lurkers. I know I do. I often read amazing posts that I really liked but I don’t have anything interesting to add.
You keep an inventory of active anime blogs!?! That is kind of amazing. I can’t imagine the amount of work and diligence that must require. Just reading over 300 blogs is a task in itself but discovering new ones as well. That’s crazy!
It’s amazing that you can keep up all that. I hope you have a relaxing 2023. You have sure earned it
It’s the “Massive List Of Anime Sites” off my main page. Every week, I check all the sites, and if one’s been idle for more than six months, I mark it inactive.
It’s a little sad — I have more inactive sites listed than active, now.
But it’s a lot of fun when I go through the inactive sites and find a couple that have started back up! Then I can list them as active again!
Curling! As a dumb kid, I once stumbled onto this marvelous video, in-between Roi Heenok music videos & Quebecois parodies of Harry Potter:
Those 38 seconds inspired in me a mixture of bafflement & hilarity, underlined by a kind of fascination. And so I once roped in my friends to go to the West Montreal Curling Club, fully intent on practicing our home-sweeping skills, while loudly screaming “HAAAARD!!!” as much as our lungs would let us. To this day, I don’t quite understand how the staff didn’t kick us out 5 minutes in.
But I’m glad they didn’t, because we found it so much fun! Such a delightful way to blend light exercise with serious finesse & strategy. Of course, we sucked big time, but that helped us enjoy it even more. Come to think of it, not sure why we never did go back there…
In any case, I’m happy this is a place I’ll be able to come back to, next year. More than your regularity, insight or general goofiness Irina, I really appreciate your kindness & generosity of spirit. Your blog is an achievement by itself, and so is the little community of commenters you’ve managed to form over the years. I really hope your collaboration ideas with other bloggers work out. I think that’s a priority, and I’m sure there’ll be no shortage of bloggers willing to collaborate with their great senpai. Here’s to many more posts in 2023, and to more cocktail recommendations I can safely ignore!
OMG…there always was a col kids curling click that I wasn’t a part of! My mind is blown!!!
i think you’ve been doing such a great job!! and i applaud the fact you’re still around doing this so consistently. i keep telling myself i’ll be back to blogging time and time again and yet, it’s so hard after stopping for some reason. i think part of the reason i also haven’t been too enthusiastically back is also engagement. i get likes but it’s definitely not the engagement that i used to get, perhaps it’s the type of post i write, or just that many people are moving away from blogging, idk, lol. but i would love to see blog tour type content become a thing again! i also really miss them and the sense of community they brought about 😀
I think engagement is generally down all around. It’s been demotivating for a lot of bloggers. I get it perfectly. But it’s great that you still check in. Maybe thing will pick up this year?
i hope so!
Irina,
You are truly amazing! As always, your post is thoughtful, insightful, warm and genuine.
I love reading your thoughts over this year of 2022, and your plans for 2023 sounds wonderful! Not in a good-luck with that sort of way, but in a realistic and planning for success sort of way.
I’m so sorry that people have been just stealing your content!
And I’m so glad that your leading reason for doing this blog is because you personally love it…. Since people like me come in and out often enough 🤦♀️
I came here with the intention of just keeping this about your blog buuuut….
Ok, can’t resist- quick catch up!
I had a meltdown 😜 Last November.
I was averaging four hours of sleep and working all the time on work and school, yet I just felt like I was falling further and further behind. So, I would sacrifice things… like thinking that I didn’t deserve to do the things I loved or even to sleep since I wasn’t getting things done.
My mum confronted me and said she was worried because she saw I was working all the time (sitting all day was bleh!!!!!) and “systematically cutting off everything that brings you joy”
She asked me when was the last time I felt like myself or enjoyed who I was. The words were cutting and I was defensive, but she was so right.
I knew I had to get out and take a break just to get my brain back. So in the midst of recovery of a breakdown and trying to figure out what I even wanted other than navigating work and school and just surviving it, I texted one of my fellow K-pop friends and told her that the first K-pop concert that happened, I was going to attend because mannn I needed to get some sunshine and take a break.
Well, the next concert happened to be one of her favourites- BTS- and it was gonna be in LA.
That was my first concert I had ever been to! We went to the second and very last day. I wasn’t a fan when I went, but I was definitely one by the time we left. The camaraderie, kindness and celebration was contagious! Plus, I really fell in love with a few of their songs- and yeah, their dances are crazy amazing.
But biggest of all? Their theme was “Permission to Dance” and I took that motto and rannnn with it!
Things that I was unqualified for, things that seemed wayyyy out there, distant dreams- all of it. So, I had already been trying to quit my job gracefully, and I was already planning to reconnect with old friends and classmates for a while- but this was the final straw to make it all a reality.
I gave my work my notice and I let all my overseas friends know that I was planning to travel and to let me know if they were up for meeting up or wanted me to crash on their couch.
The theme was discovering music, reconnecting with old friends and dance.
I ended up travelling through Europe and meeting up with old classmates and friends from more than ten years ago. I went to Lisboa for the first time (on my list for ages because of fado) and finally went to a masked ball in Venice over Carnevale! (I couldn’t go when I was studying abroad in Florence before because I was so sick) I’m glad I did it, but honestly, it was like a reallly awkward and expensive prom for adults 😂 Once was fine, but I would have wayyy more fun at any Comicon.
The best part though was getting stuck in Korea. The pinnacle of my travels was going to be Japan since I had been trying to study abroad there the last five years 😭 But they didn’t open due to COVID restrictions.
But…. It turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to me.
For years I have admired and followed certain dance choreographers on YouTube (it started by finding music I loved and then I started noticing the dancing). So one of the biggest and craziest things I could imagine was actually taking a class with one of them. So that’s what I did- and it was not only crazy difficult and awe inspiring- it turned out to be really addictive. It gave me liiiife!
In retrospect, I can trace back to the fact that I’ve actually always loved dance… but I honestly didn’t know it.
I knew I was a Zumba addict because of the exercise, but I didn’t realize that this was a desire buried sooo deep inside of me- it was like suddenly realizing I was a Kung Fu dragon warriour 😛
I was awful!!! And I later discovered that my “classmates” and friends were mostly training to become professional dancers or were already teachers themselves… so it made me feel a bit better about myself. Heheh.
That would be amazing enough, but along the way to one of the dance classes, I followed the beautiful sounds of fists hitting bags, and I signed up for kickboxing in this exercise place. The camaraderie, adrenaline and exhaustion I felt was just addictive!!!! And when the pandemic first hit, I had been training with my aunts over messenger (they live in Auckland). I already knew I loved boxing, but actually being trained in person was a whole new world!
So yeah, my life was turned upside down in some crazy ways. I returned home and helped run our family business and free time consisted of working on learning basic dance and foundations (thank you STEEZY!) online and continuing improving my form with my aunts.
Some bad stuff happened, like my grandmother passed away (New Zealand also had strict rules and we were not allowed to enter the country before she passed- it was awful because she kept asking when we would come and why weren’t we there yet) and some wonderful – like my sister gave birth to her second son (less than an hour after my grandmother passed) and my two other siblings got married.
But more than anything, this year was life altering for me. I still don’t know what on earth I’m doing. I really don’t have a long term life plan.
I am not the kind of person that just does whatever I want and follows any fancy that comes my way. But… yeah, I can’t shake this. Dance and boxing is here to stay.
I started a new job that is almost all manual labour (which I loveeeee! It’s half the pay I made before, but I actually love everything I do, am proud of my work, I’m DONE with work when I actually leave the building, and my coworkers are so interesting!) annnnd I’m slowly earning money to let me return to Korea and go back to kickboxing and dance allll over again- until my family repopens the shop for the season.
Yeah…. I have people ask me what I’m planning to do with all this- I have no desire to enter the boxing ring (I honestly couldn’t live with myself if I hurt someone deeply and permanently) so pro is out. And sure I wouldn’t mind being a professional dancer 😂 But that’s like… yeah.
It’s not something I’m dreaming about or yearn for. If it happened, great, but there are TONS of things that I could do for making money that I enjoy.
We’ve thing that clicked and made me addicted to dance is this…
Being able to physically interact with music
I thought the options of music was to sing it, play it (on instruments) and create it. I love alll of that! I was also obsessed with brainstorming music videos that actually matched the tone and vision of the music as a kid.
I would still love to do that! All of it or any of it.
But actually physically becoming music or an expression of it is something I didn’t even know one could do. I had always thought dance more as a performance and a visual experience rather than a personal and physical one.
Ok, as always, this has become exceptionally lonnng.
Life for me for 2022 was life changing and some of it was pretty painful, but overall, it was the moment that changed me for the better.
Irina, thank you so much for being who you are and for creating this beautiful space! I really do love anime and Japanese culture is the main reason why I started diving more seriously into it. But the reason why I come back here is because of YOU.
The way you curate your content is indeed beautiful! But more than that, I actually feel connected to you and to a community when I come to your blog.
Have an incredible New Year!!!!
Love to you and to everyone here 🤗 💕
You seem like a good person, Maica. And may I just say, your mom rocks! I’m jelly.
The things that bring us fulfillment are sometimes unexpected. But once we find them, we owe it to us not to let them go! Good luck in 2023.
Aww thanks so much
I definitely have my struggles but I’m so lucky and blessed to be connected with people who care enough about me to step in when they see that I’m struggling
And I agree!!! My mum is amazing
Wishing you an incredible 2023 as well! 🥳
Thanks for reading my lengthy novel and what’s more, for thinking on it and responding
This is great.
Sunds like you had one hell of a 2022.
I’m so sorry about your grandmother. That sounds heartbreaking. But congratulations to your sister!
I’ve always admired peole who can dance. Personally, I’m so dangerously uncoordinated tht it’s a hazard t myself and others if I try to dance but I can clearly see the appeal and I honestly wish I could do it more. I do hope you get to explore this love of dance more deeply in 203. It sounds like it’s been great for you so far. And also try to sleep more than 4 hours a night!
Have a great year Maica! I hope 2023 is even better than you hope.
Thanks so much Irina!
Once I quit my job I started getting more rest again
2022 had rough spots for sure, but the amount of growth and hidden dreams growing up and actually realized was sooo worth the trade off.
Thanks so much for your words and heart also for my sister and my grandmother 💕
I’m sorry we couldn’t be there for my grandmother, but I am honestly happy for her too- she had been waiting to join my grandfather ever since he passed eight years ago. And although we weren’t there, she was surrounded by all our family in New Zealand and went peacefully.
I get it about dance! I am sooo uncoordinated- I have bruises all over my legs from work and kickboxing- some is expected, but some is just from walking into things
This year has already been a bit tough but so good too!
I have had to face a few of my deepest fears (which for normal people is like nothing but for me, I would have preferred to have fought off zombies for my life than to face this… but again, I would rather fight off zombies than do a lot of things 😂) but this time around I reached out to close friends and family and asked for ways to face things and overcome them rather than to do my normal (freaking out, silently dying inside and cutting people off)
I have to retake a class that I flunked (ouch!) and a math one at that- wait, lemme rephrase that- I’m GOING to retake a class (I don’t have to- I’m choosing to do this)
So yeah, it’s a year of rewiring, but I already feel stronger, whole and more resilient than I ever have before! I think resting and drawing back when I need to is a biiig one, but also, mulling over things that I fear or am uncertain of less and either just rejecting it straight off, seeking advice to actually work through it rather than ruminate over it, or just bucking up and facing it fast and full on.
I have a few New Year’s resolutions
One is to get to work no later than five minutes late (I know- saaaad! 😂 but it is a victory for me)
Another is to continue what I started last year- living full out without holding back
Which also means being more honest (or being consistently honest?) Being straight up about who I am and my boundaries, and not curbing myself down out of fear of hurting people. I still don’t want to hurt people, but I can deal with that if it gets there, rather than behaving a certain way out of fear of what might happen.
And lastly, to reduce the amount of time and space my fears take up of my life and my mind.
Stew less- DO more.
I know I will still struggle with stuff, and I am well acquainted with the ones that would kill me if they were realized.
But even though some role plying helped me a lot in life threatening situations, I don’t want to waste my time nor brain space chewing on them anymore.
I am choosing to spend less time prepping myself on how I would react to what could happen, and filling my mind with dreams I want realized and pursuing what gives me liiiife even if I don’t know where it is all leading.
Ah! Wait one more- reconnecting with people that matter deeply to me. Some of my friends need a lot, and I definitely want to continue being there for them, but also making time to stop and connect deeply with the ones that I can lean on and that aren’t going through a crisis. I sometimes neglect the people who are always there for me for the ones that are hurting the most. Oh yeah- and becoming a more confident dancer- like getting basics down and actually learning choreo faster would be ideal. Getting this degree finished and increasing my endurance and strength in kickboxing- chin always tucked, good form and being able to go twice as long ohhhhh yeah 🔥
You are well on your way Maica. You’ll see, every year is going to get just a little bit better and before you know it, you’ll be in a great place
Glad you’re sticking around; I’d have missed this place.
Thanks Dawn!
Yay, I’m so glad your planning to stick with us for 2023! There’s so many ani-bloggers that would miss you if you disappeared from the blog-o-sphere! It would be great to have more community involvement, I think having some shared writing prompts or something is a great idea! I’m looking forward to seeing what 2023 will bring!
I’m looking forward to 2023 as wel. You never know when things might drastically change again
Anime Sensai did it again. *sweatdrops*
That aside aside, I’m not entirely gone from watching anime, but most days go by where I don’t touch an anime episode at all (although I read manga still). It’s an odd maelstrom summed up in 2 words: life happened. However, I will get back to it…soon…
(I was going to write in detail my plans for 2023 here, but I probably owe it to my followers to say it myself in a post.)
Is there something we can do to stop them????
I’m not sure if there is…. But there has to be something
Irina, let us know if there is something we can do to help!
We could comment on their site, but I don’t want to visit it and increase their numbers
Let us know if we can do something though
Thank you so much! This guy was around before and got taken down. I’m sure we can do it again!
I look forward to your post!
I can say that I’ve had the same thoughts as you though, I am now in the former blogger category and while I don’t comment often I do enjoy reading your posts. I have picked up a new hobby in baking, but my reason for dropping out of the blogging sphere was two fold.
1- a lack of community engagement plus I just can’t keep up with all the new shows coming out.
2- Perhaps more importantly it was interfering with work as my students found it and kept using it as a way to disrupt class
That said i do still toy with the idea of putting a more anonymous blog up on square space and dipping my toe back in the water.
Oh wow, your students are kinda mean… I guess you’ll have to go full anonymous if you ever get back to blogging. huh?
I think I get where you are coming from. There is a reason why I have been planning to reduce my blogging a bit to make it a bit easier for me, but I don’t want to or intend to leave this wordpress space anytime soon. I just need more time to do more things that I am interested in and I think that’s ok. I’m amazed you’ve been a daily blogger for so long. I’ve tried that for a bit and it was a lot of work. I’m glad that one of my rocks of anime blogging will be round for a bit longer. 🙂
You have such varied and cool interests. I love when yu write about them
Oh jeez, you’re just saying that 😊
Not at all. Robot building musician writer sounds like a superhero with a more interesting alter ego
Then what does that say about you? I mean, musician curling star health educated policy creator boss woman (I probably got some of those wrong, but you know)…sounds pretty bad ass to me.
Oh you, you know it’s the same towards me reading your stuff.