You know what I’d like more of? Time! Isn’t that the one thing there truly is never enough of. Unfortunately, try to stockpile it or add to it and BAM – you unravel the fabric of the universe. The universe is soooo delicate. What a pain!
There is a workaround mind you. See, if we can’t get more time, we can try to free up the time we already have. Most of us get bogged down by silly little useless things we need to do in order to live within a society but imagine how much better and easier our lives would be if we could hand off all those little annoying chores to someone else.
Need to go pay a parking ticket? Your assistant can do that. Have emails to responds to – no problemo. Need to read blog posts? I’ve got the perfect solution for you! Before you know it, you’ll have more time than you know what to do with! However, if you don’t want this treat to turn into a poison apple you have to chose careful. An inept assistant is liable to do more harm than good. Here are five great choices to cater to all your needs!
Right off the bat I provide you with a ridiculous answer that isn’t even a character. The Cube dimension from the anime form of my frustration: Kado. Just think about it, if you could retreat into your own personal pocket dimension in which energy and therefore possibilities are more or less limitless. You could bend time and space to your will.
Ok, so the downside is that you still kinda have to do things for yourself but you’re also pretty much a god. Win some, lose some… I’m keeping this one at the bottom of the list because it’s not in fact an assistant so much as a pandimensional portal of ultimate power, but it can still be useful in it’s own way. In a pinch.
So Aoi is limited by the laws of physics but she tries really hard! That’s worth a lot in my book. And if she can survive as an anime production assistant, she does have a small chance of surviving as my personal assistant. Well for a week at least. My job is not that dissimilar from hers so I may even be able to dump some of my professional duties on her plate…I mean delegate!
Also, an optimistic and passionate young woman is generally more charming than a cube. And she would keep me on my toes. Best part is, at the end of a long day, we could go for a drink together. She could introduce me to her color swap friends. Guys, a pretty elaborate fantasy is happening right now…
Admittedly, I might need to get around a few child labour laws, but I think it’s worth it. A good assistant has to be smarter than you. Thankfully in my case that doesn’t rule that many people out! This said, Shiro would be a wonderful assistant for most people.
Super smart, undeniably adorable, and still vulnerable enough to need me to give her feedback and structure. This is the dream. Well except for the whole illegal child labour part. And she wouldn’t steal my booze. This has to stop being a deciding factor.
Ok, I know what I just said but guys, I need more drinking buddies. My friends have “responsibilities” and “livers”… Besides, Yato is a super fun drunk! Lest you think it’s the only factor that matters to me, Yato is a god. Which means we are back to more or less limitless possibilities.
Ok, so he’s a little low on the reliability factor. I may need to keep a close eye on him but he’s also super cheap. 5 yen a day! That means less than 3 US cents a week! Talk about great value for the money. You know what, I’m a generous boss, I will double his fee and go with 10 yen a day!
Reliable, capable, resourceful and powerful. In a word perfect! Now I am not so full of myself as to believe I could convince Miss Hellsing to become my personal assistant. Even if I could, I would never have the guts to ask her to do anything for me. I do have a counter offer in mind though. I will happily give up my day job to be her personal assistant. I’ll work cheap. In fact, we can work out some type of bartering system. Mt skill set is limited but my enthusiasm is not! Call me!!!
I feel like this one doesn’t really need an explanation. Sebastian can do anything and do it well. Not only would he have my entire life organized and completely free of pesky obstacles, I could even ask him to cook and…dress me. It’s not like I’m doing much with my soul at the moment anyways.
From what I understood; a spirit imbued with wrath is particularly interesting which may prove to be a slight problem. I have the general temperament of a well-fed gerbil. But I have other things going for me. Is lust still a sin? I gots me some serious lust for life I could leverage. I’ll even convert if it’s required.
I just realized I made a mistake here. Maybe I shouldn’t have shared this information with you guys. I hope you’re not planning to recruit any of these wonderful choices from right under my nose! I should have thought of that sooner. I bet a good assistant would have warned me.
I can fix this. I just need to widen my pool. You all let me know who would be the ideal candidate to run your lives. I just want to know for funsies. No other reason…