Don’t worry I’ll be quiet… I’ll even try to tone down the brightness of this post for you. There, better? It’s o.k., it’ll pass. Everything’s going to be alright. I know, I know – this is the LAST time we do this, we are getting way to old for this stuff!.. Next year in Ibiza? None of the cool kids go there anymore, do they?
I understand what you’re going through. You have no clue where Monday went. You would really like to know how the meerkat got here, why you seem to be wearing an assortment of surgical gloves and also where exactly here is. You’re really just reading this on your phone because you’re a little too scared to check those 57 messages. But before you can sort anything out, you need to deal with this splitting headache.
We will get through this together. I know some naysayers and Debbie doubters will tell you that hangover remedies don’t really work but that’s just because they don’t know the secret. Come closer, this stays between us! Just like last night’s drinks – you have to mix them all together. (*** do not mix all of these together***)
Just for you and you alone, I have gathered here generations of boozy wisdom from the land of the rising sun to bring you this collection of hangover miracles. I’ve even added some helpful suggestions because I care! Some of these take a few days to kick in. I don’t *think* any of these can kill you…
Kaki (Persimmons)
I’ve heard of persimmons all my life but I’ve never actually seen one in real life (I don’t think). From pictures they look like little yellow tomatoes. Apparently, these guys are packed with vitamins and enzymes which will help you drain out all the bad stuff and the Japanese swear by them as a healthy way to shorten a hangover.
From what I’ve heard they taste just awful. I suspect that this is the true reason for their reputation. We tend to trick ourselves into thinking everything that tastes disgusting must by default be healthy. I’m not sure this is the wisest mindset. From the smell I’m thinking paint thinner isn’t all that appetizing either.
You know what – blend a couple of these babies with two scoops of vanilla ice cream and a shot of espresso. There you go. If persimmons are hard to find in your neck of the woods – replace them with a dash of tobacco, because why not.
Ukon (Turmeric)
Turmeric is a spice. A pretty well known yellow one. If you’ve ever made curry you’re familiar with the stuff. Flavour was banned from my house as a kid so I only encountered it later on and for years I thought turmeric **was** curry. Shockingly, it tastes a lot like curry…
It’s no secret that curry is a mainstay of Japanese cuisine so It makes sense that its ingredients have been adapted to other uses and apparently Turmeric is where it’s at if you want to prevent a hangover. You can get the stuff in good old spice shaker form, in capsules, in teas, there’s even a bottled version called Ukon no Chikara which you can conveniently pick up at the convenience store. You know, if you live in Japan.
Good news, turmeric is pretty easy to come by and it does have a few beneficial properties (anti-inflammatory and antioxidant mostly). Bad news, it probably won’t do much for that nausea. I suggest you consume it in the form of a large very calorific curry before you start to drink. Make it nice and spicy!
Umeboshi
These are pickled plums and I do not like them. Since they’re pickled, they probably contain the same acids as most other pickled vegetables. Drinking pickle juice is a hangover cure of my people so there might be something to it, but they’re also super salty which just isn’t gonna help with that dehydration.
My favorite (only acceptable way) of consuming these is by dropping them in martinis. So you know what, how about we go Hair of the Dog with this one and just go mix yourself up a Umeboshi Saketini with some nice Gyozas and wasabi. Right now, you’re either getting real hungry or throwing up. Either way, progress!
Green Tea
Sure, why not. Can’t hurt. Green tea’s great. You should think about replacing some of your coffee with it. We’ve all heard about the innumerable benefits of the stuff. It could probably regrow a limb. Drink a whole bunch. In fact, make it with twice the water you normally would and drink it nonstop.
You can even add a touch of honey and a sprinkle of cayenne pepper and presto – you are now sober and thin!
Shijimi Miso Soup
If you’re wondering what makes shijimi miso soup different from normal miso soup – it’s the shijimi! Shijimi are actually freshwater clams, which like a lot of seafood contain amino acids supposedly helpful in weeding out toxins and helping your liver. You do owe your liver one. As for the Miso soup part, well it’s hot broth. Any hot broth is really a classic and usually pretty effective hangover cure. In my experience, this dish does tend to be on the super salty side but I do believe it would be helpful. My advice: throw in a handful of thinly sliced hot peppers for good measure.
Now, if you don’t have access to Shimiji Miso Soup, you could always go for some extra rich clam chowder. Just make sure you don’t have any big plans for the afternoon. Otherwise, a Bloody Caesar with extra Clamato and a drop of sriracha is another good alternative. (It is not – but it is delicious)
Pocari Sweat
To this day I’m not sure what a Pocari is or why its sweat is such a prized drink in Japan but dozens of Sports! Animes have lead me to believe this is more or less Gatorade (TM). Your basic electrolytes sports drink. Makes sense why it would be helpful.
I say sure, drink a bunch. Maybe they have a wasabi flavored one – go for that. If like me you do not have access to Pocari Sweat, you will need to find some sweat alternative. This is going to sound weird but how about making your own by going for a run. Unless the standing up straight part is still difficult for you. Then a slow walk while holding onto walls. Also shower afterwards. I don’t know why no one ever puts showers as a hangover cure. They’re magic.
Ochazuke
I want to eat this so much. Since I first saw it in Bungo Stray Dogs, I’ve made dozens of versions according to different recipes I’ve found all over the net but I’ve no clue if that’s what it’s supposed to taste like. In sum it’s rice with green tea over it (I’ve made it with black tea as well – it was yum…) I mean it’s good. Rice is nice, filling and not too tough on the tummy. I’m not sure how much better it would be from simply getting a bowl of rice and a glass of water. Or even some dry toast.
Dry toast is another classic for me. According to legend it’s supposed to be slightly burned but I think that’s just because you’re likely to burn your toast when you’re hungover and you don’t want to bother doing it again.
So yeah, ochazuke sounds like a great hangover cure, sprinkle some chili flakes on top. Trust me.
Genki drinks
This is just a way cuter way of saying energy drinks except that instead of (let’s be honest) stupid sounding names like Red Bull and Rock Star, the Japanese give their energy drinks very professional drug sounding names like Kabakawa A, Lipovitamin D and Solmac.
Still, it’s the same stuff. Water, tons of sugar/sugar substitute, caffeine and taurine. It’ll get your heart pumping and rev up your entire metabolism, so you’ll pass the alcohol through your system a little quicker but taurine isn’t for everyone. Don’t over do it with that stuff. Did I just preach moderation? Guys, I don’t even know who I am any more.
Ramen
I swear someone once told me Ramen were a hangover cure. Was that someone just trying to get me to buy them Ramen? Ok, that’s a pretty safe bet actually. But again, broth is awesome for hangovers and those delicious delicious noodles won’t hurt. Maybe stick to a leaner protein but otherwise this seems like a great idea.
And for extra points, make sure to add a generous dash of shichimi. It’s just a spice blend. You’ll love it. Trust me!
I don’t know about you guys, but I’m already starting to feel a little better. And because I feel like we’ve gotten closer now, I’ll let you in on another secret: I don’t really get hangovers – ever. I might actually have even less of a clue than usual what I’m talking about. I do however end up being the designated caretaker of a bunch of sullen hungover louses on a much too frequent basis and I feed them tons of spicy food. If nothing else, it gets them out of my house.
Do you guys have any magical remedies?
Whenever I feel overly dehydrated and miserable from drinking, tea always works for me–black, green, or white. I’ve only ever had a proper hangover four times though. It helps to be a big fellow with some Germanic and Slavic heritage. 🙂
Those were some very interesting cures though. Thanks for the article.
That slavic blood does keep you fresh, donnit!
Yes, we must drink and watch anime together. I don’t get hangovers either.
I had a hella fall from my bike today and ended up in hospital with broken bones – especially not fun for me as I am allergic to pretty much every pain drug imaginable. So they had to move me around for a CAT scan and I was screaming. The nice torturer says “no pain drugs?” I explained I was allergic. He says, “Are you allergic to Jack Daniels?” “Can you prescribe that, because I’m not….” LOL If they ever let me out of here I’m going straight to the nearest liquor store. Meanwhile, I’m catching up on your posts I’ve been missing!
OMG.. I hope you’re ok. That’s awful!
I’m home. Define ok… how about, I’m about as well as can be expected or maybe a little better. I have a chip break in my right collarbone – but at least I am a two handed typist again. Long as I simply rest my arm on the desk. Worst part is the pelvis broken in two places and unable to walk. I can sort of shuffle along on a walker 🙁 Bleh. Well, I’m stuck home. One thing and another last year caused me to miss a lot of new anime I really wanted to watch – so now I can binge watch just like I like. And wow – so far the new 2018 season sounds great. I’m sure I can find something to do while I sit on my sore tailbone. 😀
Collar AND pelvis break. Man that sounds unpleasant and tedious recovery at that. I hope you heal up quickly (as quickly as possible – I know these types of breaks take time). Well I suddenly feel like a big baby for complaining about a cold…
Yeah, well, it’s all relative. I feel like a whiner for complaining knowing what my DH goes through every day. Your own suffering is still suffering, eh? The big PITA really is all the damage is on the same side so figuring out some way to support me so I can walk was an issue. A friend sent me a fancy schmanchy walker so that’s sorted. I’m so grateful! Now you’ve got me started looking at Visual Novels…
I’m simultaneously sorry and you’re welcome!
Huh, I don’t know why but it just never really occurred to me that a lot of people might not have seen a persimmon IRL. I’ve eaten plenty of them before both in my home country of New Zealand as well as here in Japan, so I guess I just assumed they were common elsewhere too.
Bonus point: not only does Japan have those genki drinks for getting over hangovers, it also has pre-alcohol beverages that supposedly lessen or even completely prevent hangovers. I tried one once and thought it tasted disgusting, but they’re apparently quite effective, or so I’m told.
The Japanese come prepared. I should have known.
I’m not a drinker, so no, but persimmons are delicious. It’s sweet and with a vanilla taste, but has a bite like an soft apple. Loblaws/Superstore usually has them, so if you’ve never tried them you should go and pick them up. They’re really good.
I’m not sure there’s any Loblaws left here. Also I am getting seriously mixed reviews on the persimmons here…
You know what that means? It means you should find it and review it on your blog. Just don’t eat too much, since there are some negative benefits if you do.
I completely forgot that Loblaws is closing down their stores. There are other stores in Ontario that sells them, but I’m not sure about Quebec.
When in doubt make into Martini garnish
I can’t wait until I’m legally of age so I can try green tea with vodka
Tell you what you do the green tea part for now and I’ll cover the vodka!
Alrighty, sounds like a plan!
Going to share this to my D&D message group called, “Drunken Dungeons.” They could use this lol.
That sounds like an awesome group!
It is! Also, I enjoyed your article of course 🙂 You are as inventive as ever.
This blog is highly underrated
I’m terrified you accidently left this comment on the wrong blog. I’m going to live in ignorant bliss as long as I can!
Nope, this blog is my favorite of the year so far. Please keep up the good work!
well now I’m actually speechless. Honestly: Thank You – it means more than I can properly say.
I need to personally test these hangover cures. 2018 is going to be a wild year.
Loved the post as always! You’re starting off the year really strong.
Thank you! I wrote this a while ago and had forgotten the details. When it got published this morning I was staring at those meerkats in confusion for a good minute
My sister is more of a party animal than I am, so I think I’ll be sharing some of your recommendations with her!
I hope it helps! Make sure you remind her of your kind gesture when your birthday comes around!
Absolutely!
I could have used this post eight months ago. Not before. Not after. Just eight months ago. in any case i can still do some cooking. Yum.
A – a never again moment. Well at least you got some great memories (or not) out of it
I spent most of the night watching Dr strange for the first time, so that part was awesome. It’s an interesting movie to watch while inebriated. The morning after, yeah… Never again moment sums it up nicely.
What a great post idea, some day these will come in handy for me!
Hopefully your natural god like stamina will take care of it instead!
Lol
I’m sure glad I’m not a hardcore alcohol lover, or I’d drown in green tea everyday, and then get an overactive peristaltic gut movement and diarrhea XD.
Here in SG there’s this thing called Laksa which seems to cure hangovers (spicy poison fighting boozy poison). I heard that people became dragons and blew fire after that… …
I just googled that – it looks so delicious!
Persimmons…even when they’re ripe, they just taste so gooey and weird to me. I used to work at a grocery store that sold them, and it was awful trying to promote samples.
I’m getting pretty mixed reviews on the persimmons here. It’s a really fun word to say though.
At my age, and after more than my share of incredible hangovers… I just try to minimize them by not drinking *quite* so much. 🙂
Aren’t you happy moderation is no longer your only option! You’re welcome!
When I used to get drunk enough for hangovers I would have the pocari sweat and tomato soup. Then later some pepperoni pizza.
Now I drink smart water and lecture myself…
The funny thing is when I first saw a persimmon tree I legit though it was a strange tree that had tomatoes haha. I was so in awe I took a ton of pictures of this “tomato tree” later on I’ve learned what they are and they taste like sadness and regret.
I’ve had sadness food. Usually at fancy work events. That taste just haunts you
Ah, Tumeric is probably one of the biggest superstitions on this planet 😀
Mom always used to put that spice in literally all of my meals. I grew up wondering why I had always been eating the same food.
That must have been awesome in cereal
Do you want to try it?
I’m kinda glad I now have freedom of choice in my meals… !
I mean, I still sneak some of it into my butter chicken so…
Nothing to add to this as I don’t drink, but just wanted to stop by and say happy new year, Irina! Hope you have a great 2018 and the hangover didn’t bite too hard 🙂
Hi Pete. Luckily I tend to avoid morning after blues. Super happy 2018 to you too. Can’t wait to see what great games you have in store for us
I really should stop reading your posts at work. I very nearly spilled my (no alcoholic) drink from laughing 😂😂 I think another great magical remedy is simply reading this post 😀It was sooooo good. And for the record I never drink alcohol (just don’t like the taste of the stuff) so never get hangovers either 😂😂
That’s probably the smart way to go. Some of us just aren’t as bright!
I love kaki, but they have to be ripe! Just poke them a bit when you come across them in a shop. They are also called “sharon fruit” in English, I heard.
I am unlikely to come across them here but I’ll keep that in mind
Maybe in a specialized vegetable shop?
You know i should look out for them more. If i ever do find one I’ll give it a try
One day, when I have my own place, I’ll be sure to use all these great posts filled with amazing foods, but for now I’m happy to have my parents cook for me.
Your parents are angels
I have actually just concluded that I have been fed oven pizza for the past three days.
Now I’m hungry…
Sowwy
Cure for a hangover? You truly are a godsend
Always thinking of you
Well thank you.