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Short, sappy and a little sad (be warned)

Posted on February 14, 2018 by Irina

I didn’t plan this but I want to get it out.

I don’t usually celebrate St-Valentine’s day unless someone makes me. I try hard to make sure other people are enjoying it though.

When I was still in high school I lost my parents on St-Valentine’s and it has affected every moment of my life since. (I talk about my mom on this site occasionally, and as far as I’m concerned she is and she is he best mom ever. she gave me a place to go when I had literally no one else).

These are old wounds and well scabbed over. I’m not depressed or sad about today. This isn’t about sympathy, in fact I’m ridiculously lucky.

All I’m sayin is that today has never been a day I particularly look forward to. But this year, all of you who have sent me well wishes and virtual hugs, sweetheart Zel at Archi-Anime, who went through the trouble of making me this:

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C’MOOOONNNN!!!!

You guys are slowly helping me replace a nightmare with a dream and I thought you should know. Your kindness is not getting lost in the void. Today it’s helping me and tomorrow, it will be someone else’s turn.

So once again, and I really mean it, Happy St-Valentine’s day.

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37 thoughts on “Short, sappy and a little sad (be warned)”

  1. Keiko says:
    February 16, 2018 at 10:52 pm

    Awhh :’) This community is truly wonderful like that 🙂

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  2. Keiko says:
    February 16, 2018 at 10:25 pm

    Irina!!! You’re such a strong individual and I just wanna give you a hug right now!
    I’m glad to hear things have been getting better for you and that this Valentines been better. Hopefully it’ll stay that way always 😊

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    1. Irina says:
      February 16, 2018 at 10:27 pm

      You are so sweet. Like I said it was a while ago and it’s fine really but I keep being stunned by how kind everyone is! I wanted you guys to know it means a lot

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  3. Elisabeth O'Neill says:
    February 16, 2018 at 2:37 pm

    I lost my mum last year, so I can understand how you feel. It feels wrong to say sorry, because there’s probably nothing anyone could have done. But I’m so glad you’re getting all the love you deserve from friends, and this is me sending some your way too ~~~ ❤️

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    1. Irina says:
      February 16, 2018 at 3:15 pm

      Oh my last year – you’re still in the though times… Eventually the sad washes away a bit and you end up remebering much more of the happy but the first few years are rough.
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I know you’re starting your on family and that is so beautiful and fantastic. I grateful accept the love and am sending loads to you and yours in return!

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  4. flowangelic says:
    February 16, 2018 at 10:08 am

    Wow, Irina…. I haven’t been following you for that long, but your writing and views on things hit me deeply. This post was very powerful, I’m sorry for what you have been through. I wish you all the best on this day and every other day, and applaud you for writing so strongly and positively. A big hug to you.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 16, 2018 at 11:13 am

      Thank you so much! It may sound odd but these small kindnesses – taking the time to leave someone a little message ike this – make more of a difference than people think! Have a great day!

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  5. shaddowcat99 says:
    February 16, 2018 at 1:31 am

    In so touched that you feel your able to share that here. I’m sorry to hear that happened, but as time goes on things are getting better. Lots of hugs from me Irina, more then just the ones you find in my posts. *hug hug hug* happy Valentine’s.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 16, 2018 at 1:36 am

      Thank you so much Shaddow

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  6. A Nerdy Perspective says:
    February 15, 2018 at 10:02 pm

    I’m so sorry to hear about that! That’s an awful thing to happen and makes things worse that it’s around an occasion! I’m so happy that this year was a bit brighter for you! I think you are a very strong and very amazing person and I’ll always try to support you and your blog! You are amazing!

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 10:11 pm

      Thank you so much but it’s ok really. I am just so impressed by everyone’s kindness and wanted to say something

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      1. A Nerdy Perspective says:
        February 15, 2018 at 10:26 pm

        You’re welcome! I just felt the need to say something as I cannot fathom how hard it must be sometimes and yes there are a lot of lovely and kind people in this community! I love it! 😊

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  7. Jaune says:
    February 15, 2018 at 3:17 pm

    Rin-san, you are so strong! I really admire you and I love your writing! New fan here, courtesy Auri

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 3:29 pm

      That is so sweet and anyone who can appreciate Auri is a friend of mine. Thank you so much!

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  8. Alicia says:
    February 15, 2018 at 12:03 pm

    <3 <3 <3 I'm bad with words, but I want to say something like: you are awesome, you inspire me, I want to give you a big hug and have chocolate cake together (made by someone else, I'm dangerous in the kitchen). <3<3<3

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 12:16 pm

      I have been reading your posts and you are definetly not bad with words. Case and point, this was the perfect comment!

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      1. Alicia says:
        February 15, 2018 at 3:20 pm

        awww you sweetie, you 🙂 It takes me several hours to write a post and several days to organize the thoughts in my head first, but as long as my feelings reach you, I’m satisfied :3

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  9. Pete Davison says:
    February 15, 2018 at 9:47 am

    Thanks for sharing this, Irina, it’s important to talk about this sort of stuff. Old wounds can still “itch” now and then even if they’ve scabbed over, but having people who love and care about you around you can help overcome that.

    I’m glad you’ve managed to move forward from such a tragic event in your past while respecting the memory of those who were clearly very important to you — and moreover to demonstrate yourself to be someone that others can rely on, and that your parents would be proud of.

    You’re greatly loved and appreciated by everyone in this little corner of the community. Keep being who you are, we wouldn’t want you any other way… and we’re all here for you any time you need it! 🙂

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:13 am

      Thank you so much Pete. I realize I’ve been very lucky in many ways and to be able to find such a caring community is one f them.

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  10. Precious Jasmin says:
    February 15, 2018 at 7:19 am

    Aw so sweet. Happy Valentine’s day! Can I hug you, too?

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:12 am

      Please do! Thank you Jasmin I really appreciate it

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      1. Precious Jasmin says:
        February 16, 2018 at 7:36 am

        Awe. *hugs*

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  11. raistlin0903 says:
    February 15, 2018 at 5:30 am

    I woke up on the middle of the night for some unknown reason past night. As I was awake anyway, I decided to check if there were any new posts I could read. Then I came across this one. After reading it I just was staring at the screen of my iPad for a while and being quiet. Again you show so much courage by writing a post like this that just could not have been easy. I decided to not write a reply just yet, but instead went back to sleep. Or at least I tried to.
    Now having woken up again…this is the first post I returned to. I’m honestly for a very rare occasion not even sure what to write here. But let me just say this. I think that if your parents were alive today and would look upon the woman that you have become today, they would be proud of you. Very, very proud. I have known you for a few months now, and in that time you have amazed me by being someone that always gives so much to others, something that I have said before. But not only that. I respect you for being so amazingly strong. To be an anchor for people that at times are feeling insecure, and in doubt of their own abilities. But last but not least, by being a friend…and a very good one at that. Be proud of yourself, and give yourself that pat on the back.
    Also…a special note for Heyitszel here: what you did here is showing true friendship. It’s amazing and know that I think it is really very beautiful 😊
    Dear Irina…continue being awesome, but I don’t think that will ever be any kind of problem for you whatsoever.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:11 am

      Raistlin my friend, this is exactly the type of kindness I was talking about and the type f love I felt I wanted to celebrate. I hope your sleep evens out. Thank you!

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  12. Chizurue says:
    February 15, 2018 at 3:18 am

    “Your kindness is not getting lost in the void. Today it’s helping me and tomorrow, it will be someone else’s turn.” LOVE THIS. But needless to say, we’re only giving back what we receive from you too..

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:08 am

      Thank you Chizu. I must be giving a whole lot…

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  13. Shokamoka says:
    February 15, 2018 at 3:06 am

    You are indeed one hell of a person!
    Your experiences make most of my struggles mere excuses, haha.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:08 am

      Nah I just got the bad stuff out of the way first so now I’m just spoiled

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  14. Auri says:
    February 15, 2018 at 2:39 am

    Every time I learn more about you, you become stronger in my mind.
    Rin-san, thank YOU for being here and showing us how to stay strong and courageous.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 11:06 am

      Sweet Auri, I’m not sure I deserve that but thank you so much. I’ll work hard t ive up to it.

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  15. Krystallina says:
    February 15, 2018 at 1:02 am

    I’m so sorry about your parents. I’m glad you’re in a place emotionally where you can still find warmth and well-wishes in the day. Happy Valentine’s Day.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 15, 2018 at 1:12 am

      Thank you Krystallina. A very happy Valentine’s to you too

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  16. ospreyshire says:
    February 14, 2018 at 11:56 pm

    I’m really sorry to hear about that experience on Valentine’s Day. No one should ever have to go through something as tragic as losing your parents. I can’t speak for everyone in this blogging community, but I will say that so many of us appreciate you and what you do.

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    1. Irina says:
      February 14, 2018 at 11:59 pm

      You have been wonderful as well as many others.

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      1. ospreyshire says:
        February 15, 2018 at 2:13 am

        Thank you. Just keep on being awesome!

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  17. heyitszel says:
    February 14, 2018 at 11:54 pm

    <3 <3 I'm very happy to have been able to contribute something positive on this day. I'm also very grateful to have met your amazing self and everyone else I've been working with via the blog/podcast. I really do love you guys tons!

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    1. Irina says:
      February 14, 2018 at 11:58 pm

      I’ve said it before today – but it’s completely mutual

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Irina

Irina

Hi! My name is Irina and I think we should be friends. So come on in, make yourself comfortable, grab a drink, there's juice also, and let's chat about anime!

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