I didn’t plan this but I want to get it out.

I don’t usually celebrate St-Valentine’s day unless someone makes me. I try hard to make sure other people are enjoying it though.

When I was still in high school I lost my parents on St-Valentine’s and it has affected every moment of my life since. (I talk about my mom on this site occasionally, and as far as I’m concerned she is and she is he best mom ever. she gave me a place to go when I had literally no one else).

These are old wounds and well scabbed over. I’m not depressed or sad about today. This isn’t about sympathy, in fact I’m ridiculously lucky.

All I’m sayin is that today has never been a day I particularly look forward to. But this year, all of you who have sent me well wishes and virtual hugs, sweetheart Zel at Archi-Anime, who went through the trouble of making me this:


You guys are slowly helping me replace a nightmare with a dream and I thought you should know. Your kindness is not getting lost in the void. Today it’s helping me and tomorrow, it will be someone else’s turn.

So once again, and I really mean it, Happy St-Valentine’s day.

37 thoughts

  1. Irina!!! You’re such a strong individual and I just wanna give you a hug right now!
    I’m glad to hear things have been getting better for you and that this Valentines been better. Hopefully it’ll stay that way always 😊

    1. You are so sweet. Like I said it was a while ago and it’s fine really but I keep being stunned by how kind everyone is! I wanted you guys to know it means a lot

  2. I lost my mum last year, so I can understand how you feel. It feels wrong to say sorry, because there’s probably nothing anyone could have done. But I’m so glad you’re getting all the love you deserve from friends, and this is me sending some your way too ~~~ ❤️

    1. Oh my last year – you’re still in the though times… Eventually the sad washes away a bit and you end up remebering much more of the happy but the first few years are rough.
      Thank you so much for your kind words. I know you’re starting your on family and that is so beautiful and fantastic. I grateful accept the love and am sending loads to you and yours in return!

  3. Wow, Irina…. I haven’t been following you for that long, but your writing and views on things hit me deeply. This post was very powerful, I’m sorry for what you have been through. I wish you all the best on this day and every other day, and applaud you for writing so strongly and positively. A big hug to you.

    1. Thank you so much! It may sound odd but these small kindnesses – taking the time to leave someone a little message ike this – make more of a difference than people think! Have a great day!

  4. In so touched that you feel your able to share that here. I’m sorry to hear that happened, but as time goes on things are getting better. Lots of hugs from me Irina, more then just the ones you find in my posts. *hug hug hug* happy Valentine’s.

  5. I’m so sorry to hear about that! That’s an awful thing to happen and makes things worse that it’s around an occasion! I’m so happy that this year was a bit brighter for you! I think you are a very strong and very amazing person and I’ll always try to support you and your blog! You are amazing!

  6. <3 <3 <3 I'm bad with words, but I want to say something like: you are awesome, you inspire me, I want to give you a big hug and have chocolate cake together (made by someone else, I'm dangerous in the kitchen). <3<3<3

      1. awww you sweetie, you 🙂 It takes me several hours to write a post and several days to organize the thoughts in my head first, but as long as my feelings reach you, I’m satisfied :3

  7. Thanks for sharing this, Irina, it’s important to talk about this sort of stuff. Old wounds can still “itch” now and then even if they’ve scabbed over, but having people who love and care about you around you can help overcome that.

    I’m glad you’ve managed to move forward from such a tragic event in your past while respecting the memory of those who were clearly very important to you — and moreover to demonstrate yourself to be someone that others can rely on, and that your parents would be proud of.

    You’re greatly loved and appreciated by everyone in this little corner of the community. Keep being who you are, we wouldn’t want you any other way… and we’re all here for you any time you need it! 🙂

  8. I woke up on the middle of the night for some unknown reason past night. As I was awake anyway, I decided to check if there were any new posts I could read. Then I came across this one. After reading it I just was staring at the screen of my iPad for a while and being quiet. Again you show so much courage by writing a post like this that just could not have been easy. I decided to not write a reply just yet, but instead went back to sleep. Or at least I tried to.
    Now having woken up again…this is the first post I returned to. I’m honestly for a very rare occasion not even sure what to write here. But let me just say this. I think that if your parents were alive today and would look upon the woman that you have become today, they would be proud of you. Very, very proud. I have known you for a few months now, and in that time you have amazed me by being someone that always gives so much to others, something that I have said before. But not only that. I respect you for being so amazingly strong. To be an anchor for people that at times are feeling insecure, and in doubt of their own abilities. But last but not least, by being a friend…and a very good one at that. Be proud of yourself, and give yourself that pat on the back.
    Also…a special note for Heyitszel here: what you did here is showing true friendship. It’s amazing and know that I think it is really very beautiful 😊
    Dear Irina…continue being awesome, but I don’t think that will ever be any kind of problem for you whatsoever.

    1. Raistlin my friend, this is exactly the type of kindness I was talking about and the type f love I felt I wanted to celebrate. I hope your sleep evens out. Thank you!

  9. “Your kindness is not getting lost in the void. Today it’s helping me and tomorrow, it will be someone else’s turn.” LOVE THIS. But needless to say, we’re only giving back what we receive from you too..

  10. Every time I learn more about you, you become stronger in my mind.
    Rin-san, thank YOU for being here and showing us how to stay strong and courageous.

  11. I’m so sorry about your parents. I’m glad you’re in a place emotionally where you can still find warmth and well-wishes in the day. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  12. I’m really sorry to hear about that experience on Valentine’s Day. No one should ever have to go through something as tragic as losing your parents. I can’t speak for everyone in this blogging community, but I will say that so many of us appreciate you and what you do.

  13. <3 <3 I'm very happy to have been able to contribute something positive on this day. I'm also very grateful to have met your amazing self and everyone else I've been working with via the blog/podcast. I really do love you guys tons!

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