This is a little embarrassing to talk about, so don’t tell anyone ok? Sometimes, not that often but still, I seek validation through my blog. Like when I’m having a really cr*ppy day and everything is going wrong, I find comfort in a supportive comment even if I’m not sure how sincere it is.
Or other days, when I’m having a real good day, lotsa likes, lotsa comments, I’ll get just a little full of myself. Pump out my chest out like a robin and walk around all proud and stuff, even though no one else knows about it, and if they did, let’s face it, they wouldn’t care. That’s fine though I know and it makes me happy.
Pretty silly right? Randomly (occasionally drunkenly) rambling about anime isn’t exactly a skill to get all pleased with yourself over. I read other people’s blogs, I know there are better writers, more creative, occasionally funnier (that last one hurts a bit). I may be silly, but I’m not delusional. But just because there are other great blogs out there doesn’t really take anything away from mine you know?
And as childish as it may seem, I figure you get your happiness where you can in life. As far as guilty pleasures go, writing for strangers seems on the innocent side of things. Heck, it may even have a benefit or two. It certainly has allowed me to interact with some fantastic folks.
But there’s a definite flip side. Views fluctuate, and stats go down. This can be depressing. Not soul crushing or anything but it can deflate you on an otherwise great day. My personal demon is that posts that mean a lot to me, that I really enjoyed writing and I’m enthusiastically sharing, often get ignored. Not always. I have been lucky to get some readers that will kindly go out of their way to let me know they’ve read or enjoyed a piece – for that I’m eternally grateful but you know, everyone gets busy sometimes and I have really weird tastes, so it figures that the posts I love would not be for everyone.
All of this is well-trodden territory. So, 5 paragraphs later, will I finally get to the point??? Yeah, we all know having our blog do subjectively well is a rush, so what? Well, even though getting some external valorization through blogging sounds like a good idea, is it? Is it really reasonable? Is it ok to admit you get a thrill from it?
This isn’t one of those instances where there’s a right answer. Most likely there’s a right answer for you at this moment, that will change with time and doesn’t apply to others. But here’s mine: YES. You should be proud of your blog. You should be happy when someone else acknowledges your posts. You know what? (this is just me – I should never be listen to) You should even be bummed when your beautifully written and passionate posts go ignored.
You can use the disappointment to fuel your next post. Get better, more passionate. Rant! Try new things. We all know that failure is by far the best teacher. That’s my secret – constant defeat!
Of course, keep in mind that it doesn’t in fact mean anything. The capricious nature of the reader app, the way a post title comes off, even international holidays you may not be aware of, all play a big role in how much exposure your post will get and that has nothing to do with the post itself.
The reverse is kinda true as well. For instance, if youtube has every episode of an anime except 4, and you happen to have a review for episode 4 of that anime, with a corresponding post name – you are probably going to get a whole bunch of people who are looking to watch the episode to your blog. That doesn’t mean they’re not going to love the post and subscribe for more, but it also doesn’t mean that your episode 4 review was that much better than your episode 7 review.
But just because you know the somewhat arbitrary nature of stats, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy them. It also doesn’t mean you haven’t earned most of them.
Then again, if you’re obsessing over it, you probably won’t have fun.
I’m a very lazy person. Whenever possible I go for the road of least resistance. It’s just easier that way! At some point I realized that if I really cared about views and followers, I would have to learn about SEO and start really using the power of social media platforms. I dun wanna. It sounds like a LOT of trouble. But I did come up with a brilliant idea instead! Focus on different stats!
My biggest joys are the clicks from my site to another. I’m working on that. I try to share other sites with you whenever I think you may like them. I’ve been a bit wanting on that front lately, but I’ll get back to it. Promise! And my search terms. I have zero idea how to get interesting searches to my blog but whenever I do it fills me with glee. I tell strangers about it. I can have a post completely bomb, but if someone got to my blog with “eps file file camp hustle” (real search) it completely makes up for it. Admittedly “anime bath timekids » (also real search) scares me a little…
So if you get bummed out over your blog, be bummed. Whine about it. Maybe just to me, it could get annoying for some folks. I get it though. And if you are proud of your blog, stand tall and declare it. You’ve earned, probably! And we’re happy for you!
So, I looked for Anime gifs to use them as a chat message (yeah, I’ve sunk that deep) and randomly stumbled upon your blog.
The first thing I saw was a post about something more controversial and I could relate to your take on the topic. Then I saw that you are still posting to this date and got curious. Yeah, something as mundane as searching for an anime gif brought me here, but your writing got me to stay. I dunno how long, but time will tell.
As someone who wrote blogs and other storys in the past, I can relate to your feelings. Even though I kinda did it for myself, it was nice to know that at least someone enjoyed reading. You pour a little bit of yourself into your writing, so seeing it being ignored will hurt a bit. That’s what I felt. Sometimes I go back to some of my works and read them myself, feeling all proud about some parts, knowing full well that I might just be the only one.
Feeling proud about your writing, second geussing your own thoughts, thinking about reactions, letting out whatever bugs you,… writing is a process and most of the time the finished work is not like what someone first intended. And that’s what I can see in your writing for the few things I’ve read for now.
Whatever you take away from the stats of your blog, it is your right to revel in it.
You have no idea how happy this makes me. I have long said that this blog was basically just an excuse to collect anime gifs. You have validated my purpose!
You are good. You are even very good. And I try and drop a line to say so now and then. You are a unique individual voice in the blogosphere that I happen to enjoy perhaps more for your digressions (like this one) than reviews. OTH it helps that if you liked something, I can be almost positive I’ll like it, too. Don’t ever stop. I’ll miss you.
Awww well you’re kinda the best
Ok… You are good… What. Have you been hanging around Mr Max of Mr Max TV? Thrown a fit the last time you were taken to get your nails clipped? Ate fried cheese? I like fried cheese…
Anyway sure. You are good… Well. For Some reason this all feels awkward. Anyway after Witchblade Gonzo we review Everything Everywhere All At Once, winner of several Academy Awards! Over at Pop Goes me…
I’m sorry I don’t know what Mr Max id
Irina
Restores
Individuals’
Need for
Anime
Impressive
Success
Grateful for
One-of-a-kind
Outlooks &
Dialogue
OMG 😳 damn you go above and beyond! Your partner is lucky
You get a pretty good comments section to your posts. A lot of the replies are very interesting to read. That’d be the most important thing to me, if I had a blog. I think if I had high numbers but no comments, I’d call it quits (says the guy who doesn’t even start…).
I am lucky. I’ve often said that my comments are better than the posts half the time. I write prompts
Don’t underestimate your posts, though.
We’re a team! I get some ideas out and the commentors drive them home!
I’m not a fan of SEO, (it sounds like work) and my social media presence is REALLY small. When I blogged regularly, I found that talking about something I loved got me the best stats. So I stuck with only talking about things I loved, whether it was a a particularly delicious anime or running around naked. I think the love comes through and is infectious.
This offers the benefit that even if my stats don’t pop, at least I’ve talked about something I loved and enjoyed putting in the effort. Needing to feel “validated” on every post is yielding too much power to other people to control my happiness. If I were to monitize, it would make that dependency even worse.
I guess that’s a fairly Stoic attitude to take.
Stoic maybe but also very reasonable
Maybe lazy people work more on how to work less. I finally decided to post daily but for my own sake if do that for others I will burnt out. Thank you for this post quite encouraging. Keep talking about anime.
Thank you and good luck with the daily posts!
I don’t see anything wrong to seek validation through your blog. You have put efforts into your articles, so it is your right to have some validation from it. While I don’t get obsessed with my views and subscribers, I also get a thrill when people leave likes or subscribe to my comments.
But the biggest thrill I get is from the comments. When I get lots of comments (anything beyond 4) I walk around as if I am Vegeta reborn. So yeah, nothing wrong with seeking validation for your work.
Also if you’re reading this, and you decide to visit my blog, do leave a comment? I’m sure you know by now why I am asking this.
Got it!
I think it’s completely valid to think about the ups and downs of blogging. I started back in 2016 and I had my fair share of ups and downs. I think seeing you write about anime, manga and your inner thoughts help motivate me to keep going.
As a writer, it does get frustrating when no one looks at your work, but my friend once told me that “there will always be someone who reads your stuff”. Whether it’s one, two or ten people, I keep going because I know someone’s going to read my stuff and even if someone’s review of the same thing is better than mine, I always have the mindset that mine is better to someone else.
My advice is to disengage from comparisons too much. As someone who grew up in a culture where comparisons to other children were quite common amongst parents, I learned to not get too carried away and be myself as an adult.
Irina, you are good at blogging. You will always be someone’s favorite anime blog. I hope you remember that.
Aww that was so sweet! Thank you
You’re good
That’s all I wanted!
I think it’s human nature to get happy/sad based on how well something you put time and effort into is doing statistically.
For me, writing/blogging is very much a side pastime to my job, so just the act of producing something every week is a high of productivity. I view it as a sort of journal I can look back at to see what I was playing/watching and what I thought of it. If anyone reads or engages with it, that’s a bonus!
I think if my livelihood were based on it, it would become very different, of course!
There’s also a thrill when you talk about a game/show/anime/etc. and that recommendation gets other people to experience it. That sort of communal impact is really rewarding. 🙂
I agree. Nothing pleases me more about than to hear I had some part to play in someone discovering a show they love