At least I think so… No no wait! Hear me out…I know how this sounds! I really do! But I have reasons for thinking this. Logical ones. And no I didn’t slip on our very icy sidewalks and hit my head hard!
You’re probably all thinking this little introspection is doomed to failure from the start. After all, if I was a magical girl, I would know, wouldn’t I? There would be no need to question myself about it or anything. But isn’t it possible that the same mechanism that can make ribbons float around you and turn into a frilly costume while giving you super powers, would also mess with your memory! After all, having a secret persona is a big part of being a magical girl in the first place and it’s way easier to do if you don’t consciously know you are one. I understand that in anime that’s not how it goes but that’s just TV. They have to remember to keep the dramatic tension high and inject all this conflict. In real life, magical girls would totally forget about there magical status when it’s not needed. It’s the only sensible way to go. Really, it would be weirder if I remembered my magical exploits.
As you can clearly see, me not knowing for certain that I’m a magical girl isn’t proof I’m not. In fact it might be slight proof of the opposite.
But that’s not my entire argument, I have other reasons to reach this conclusion. For instance, although I have never had strong urges to punish people in the name of the moon, I’m also not opposed to doing so. In fact, it might come in handy at times.
Also, I live in a country that’s mostly bad weather and snow, yet I wear short skirts most of the time. I’m wearing that right now. What would compel me to do something that unpractical other than a subconscious need for me to be in my natural costume. The answer is nothing. Obviously I’m someone whose meant to be in short skirts…
Now opinions may vary on this next point but I believe I am not in fact a particularly unintelligent individual. I’m quite dyslexic but otherwise can be insightful and pretty good at problem solving. Despite this, I still believe that everyone is inherently a “good person” and will default on the side of trusting people no matter how often it may turn out to be unwise. Sure you could just say that I’m a naive doormat. On the surface it may seem that way so I wouldn’t blame you. But isn’t it more likely that my magical girl sense of responsibility dictates that I protect all the people of the world and so my brain would be naturally wired to believe such blindly optimistic things. Really it’s an evolutionary trait. Magical girls wouldn’t be very effective otherwise after all.
And then there’s the obvious physical clues. I get a solid 4 to 6 hours of sleep every single night yet I’m still occasionally tired during the day. And I will sometimes end up with bruises I have no way to account for. Unless of course I happen to actually be spending my nights finding criminals or vanquishing monsters and aliens. This is the simplest explanation to account for all of these inconsistencies. You know what the say, the simplest explanation is usually the correct explanation!
I know that by now my case is pretty much made and you all agree that I’m clearly a secret magical girl. There’s no need to go on or anything. But for the sake of an overabundance of evidence, I’ve actually kept my most convincing arguments for last.
I often lose clothes. I’ll decide I want to wear a specific blouse or short skirt one morning and I go through my closet but it’s nowhere to be found. I am still mourning my favourite oversized silk t-shirt that hasn’t been seen for years. How does one even misplace clothing? It’s not like I’m forgetting it on the bus or anything. I’m not just accidentally coming home naked from work. It’s just not something that happens. Especially in a country where dying from cold is a very real possibility. This has baffled me for years. And we’re not talking about the stray sock that has obviously been eaten by the monster in the dryer. It’s complete outfits sometimes. Suit jackets, formal dresses, even glasses. All of them gone without a trace. As I they just spontaneously *disappeared*….to be replaced by a sailor suit for example… Huh? HUH?!?
Oh and I have Pink Hair. I dye it peach. The dye itself looks completely orange and the hair started out with no pigment (as in white). Yet it turns out magical girl baby pink every time. I’ve been consistently adding more and more blonde and orange into my formula to the point where my last dye was exclusively a cool beige and yet my hair still dried pink. As if there’s something genetic making it go that colour or like magic.
Yup, I guess there’s no point in keeping the pretense up. I’m clearly a no longer so secret magical girl. And if you have ever experienced any of the situation/symptoms above, there’s a pretty good chance you’re a magical girl too. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy, that’s not really a big obstacle to magical girlhood. So if you’re a magical girl like me, let me know. Magical girls work much better in teams after all!