I Might Be A Secret Magical Girl

At least I think so… No no wait! Hear me out…I know how this sounds! I really do! But I have reasons for thinking this. Logical ones. And no I didn’t slip on our very icy sidewalks and hit my head hard!

You’re probably all thinking this little introspection is doomed to failure from the start. After all, if I was a magical girl, I would know, wouldn’t I? There would be no need to question myself about it or anything. But isn’t it possible that the same mechanism that can make ribbons float around you and turn into a frilly costume while giving you super powers, would also mess with your memory! After all, having a secret persona is a big part of being a magical girl in the first place and it’s way easier to do if you don’t consciously know you are one. I understand that in anime that’s not how it goes but that’s just TV. They have to remember to keep the dramatic tension high and inject all this conflict. In real life, magical girls would totally forget about there magical status when it’s not needed. It’s the only sensible way to go. Really, it would be weirder if I remembered my magical exploits.

Mahou.Shoujo.Madoka☆Magica

I’m glad you agree

As you can clearly see, me not knowing for certain that I’m a magical girl isn’t proof I’m not. In fact it might be slight proof of the opposite.

But that’s not my entire argument, I have other reasons to reach this conclusion. For instance, although I have never had strong urges to punish people in the name of the moon, I’m also not opposed to doing so. In fact, it might come in handy at times.

Also, I live in a country that’s mostly bad weather and snow, yet I wear short skirts most of the time. I’m wearing that right now. What would compel me to do something that unpractical other than a subconscious need for me to be in my natural costume. The answer is nothing. Obviously I’m someone whose meant to be in short skirts…

Now opinions may vary on this next point but I believe I am not in fact a particularly unintelligent individual. I’m quite dyslexic but otherwise can be insightful and pretty good at problem solving. Despite this, I still believe that everyone is inherently a “good person” and will default on the side of trusting people no matter how often it may turn out to be unwise. Sure you could just say that I’m a naive doormat. On the surface it may seem that way so I wouldn’t blame you. But isn’t it more likely that my magical girl sense of responsibility dictates that I protect all the people of the world and so my brain would be naturally wired to believe such blindly optimistic things. Really it’s an evolutionary trait. Magical girls wouldn’t be very effective otherwise after all.

magical girl asuka

Full body armour – magical girl style

And then there’s the obvious physical clues. I get a solid 4 to 6 hours of sleep every single night yet I’m still occasionally tired during the day. And I will sometimes end up with bruises I have no way to account for. Unless of course I happen to actually be spending my nights finding criminals or vanquishing monsters and aliens. This is the simplest explanation to account for all of these inconsistencies. You know what the say, the simplest explanation is usually the correct explanation!

I know that by now my case is pretty much made and you all agree that I’m clearly a secret magical girl. There’s no need to go on or anything. But for the sake of an overabundance of evidence, I’ve actually kept my most convincing arguments for last.

I often lose clothes. I’ll decide I want to wear a specific blouse or short skirt one morning and I go through my closet but it’s nowhere to be found. I am still mourning my favourite oversized silk t-shirt that hasn’t been seen for years. How does one even misplace clothing? It’s not like I’m forgetting it on the bus or anything. I’m not just accidentally coming home naked from work. It’s just not something that happens. Especially in a country where dying from cold is a very real possibility. This has baffled me for years. And we’re not talking about the stray sock that has obviously been eaten by the monster in the dryer. It’s complete outfits sometimes. Suit jackets, formal dresses, even glasses. All of them gone without a trace. As I they just spontaneously *disappeared*….to be replaced by a sailor suit for example… Huh? HUH?!?

Magical girl transformation

my thoughts exactly

Oh and I have Pink Hair. I dye it peach. The dye itself looks completely orange and the hair started out with no pigment (as in white). Yet it turns out magical girl baby pink every time. I’ve been consistently adding more and more blonde and orange into my formula to the point where my last dye was exclusively a cool beige and yet my hair still dried pink. As if there’s something genetic making it go that colour or like magic.

Yup, I guess there’s no point in keeping the pretense up. I’m clearly a no longer so secret magical girl. And if you have ever experienced any of the situation/symptoms above, there’s a pretty good chance you’re a magical girl too. It doesn’t matter if you’re a guy, that’s not really a big obstacle to magical girlhood. So if you’re a magical girl like me, let me know. Magical girls work much better in teams after all!

magical rini

where did this start come from???

Irina

I'm much nicer than I seem, we should be friends!

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47 Responses

  1. foovay says:

    Well OBVIOUSLY you are magic. You know, the old fashioned werewolves were not aware they were wolves on the full moon. They were aware they woke up in weird places without their clothes and with blood on their face about once a month, but no memory of how they got there. If I remember correctly Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde didn’t specifically remember each other in the original story. I can totally believe the transformation is – well – Total – like a person with multiple personality disorder, one personality does not remember what another personality did. Works for me.

  2. Kapodaco says:

    I don’t know what I expected. I guess you’re a magical girl now? Sure… but one thing about this really sticks out to me:

    “I get a solid 4 to 6 hours of sleep every single night”

    This is a joke, right? You’re joking. You have to be. No way this is real. People need 8 hours. That’s the best amount. Unless you’re elderly, in which that amount is fine, but at your age (Disclaimer: I do not know your age)? 8. *additional dad words and complaints*

    • Irina says:

      But it’s a solid rem cycle. I sleep like the dead. Seriously, you can push me off the bed it won’t wake me up. I get more rest in those 6 hours than most people do in 8. 4 is not enough…

  3. After all, having a secret persona is a big part of being a magical girl in the first place

    Tell that to my favorite magical girl, Star Butterfly. And since she’s inspired by Sailor Moon, she counts

  4. Xenodude says:

    Not sure I’m completely sold. You didn’t mention finding out yourself in a crazy action pose with a colorful background behind you when your clothes suddenly became a sailor uniform.

    “In real life, magical girls would totally forget about there magical status when it’s not needed. It’s the only sensible way to go. Really, it would be weirder if I remembered my magical exploits.”

    I’d honestly watch an anime about a magical girl who can’t remember her own magical exploits. “Memento” but with magical girls.

    • Irina says:

      First memento madoka must happen!

      Second I didn’t mention the pose thing cause I figured it went without saying

  5. Dawnstorm says:

    Let’s hope your adversaries aren’t reading the blog…

    Also, get more sleep.

    • Irina says:

      Pffth you can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my real dad…or…WAIT???

      • Dawnstorm says:

        Of course, I can tell you what to do. It’s easy. Look: “Get more sleep.” It’s just that you don’t have to do it, if you don’t want to.

        Also, I’m pretty sure I never reproduced, though I can’t rule out that the aliens that you may be fighting may have snatched a sample while I was sleeping… this is getting too complicated.

  6. Anonymous says:

    Madoka season 2 confirmed.
    -K (rogueotakugamer)

  7. Andy says:

    Grant me wishes then.

  8. Scott says:

    I believe you. The only question I have is who is your cute animal mascot?

    You sound a lot like me because I wear shorts and sandals out in the cold. Just don’t get affected by it as much I guess.

  9. Inskidee says:

    One time, I exited my house without my house key. After a few moments of freaking out on how I wouldn’t be able to get back in, I solemnly continued on with my day. Then, a few hours later, I was looking through my bag and I found the diddly darn key! I’m convinced I have some secret, unawakened power of teleportation now. Count me in your magical troupe!

  10. K.A.L.T says:

    Title of this post should be “I Am A Secret Magical Girl” not “I Might Be A Secret Magical Girl”. How could anyone not be convinced by this post?

    Please don’t start attacking random McDonald’s workers in search for the demon lord though, I’m sure he’s a friendly guy who means no harm!

    On another note, beware of cute white thingies with gleaming red eyes!

    • Irina says:

      I guess I had a clickbait title. Muwahaha. You know…maybe I’m an evil magical girl. Those should exist. We need a show like that! Normal girls who turn into superpowered jerks. I’d watch it

  11. Pinkie says:

    This argument would have been so much more compelling if it wasnt written on I Drink and Watch Anime.. with a webname like drunkenanimeblog.

    That being said , I keep losing clothes and wake up with scratches and cuts and I do feel we are alike.
    So since I want to be a magical girl as well I choose to belief you.

    I dream I could fly and do magic a lot so maybe we are not just dreaming but its actually memories hiding as dreams. My plushies talk to me.. so I do have talking animals.. you as well?

    Not sure if I have a transformation object.. maybe my pink japanese umbrella or my pink light ornament

    • Irina says:

      Oh case closed. Obvious magical girl Pinkie!

      • Pinkie says:

        Perhaps if we team up one day we get less bruises and scratces!
        But well you’d know the source of your power first.. a random group of magical girls that all get their powers from different things would be weird… but kinda cool! Imagine one transforms by love… one by using her make up box.. the other by star power! Just random with all unique transformation methods!

        • Irina says:

          Oohh can “love” be mild like she tries a new ice cream and it’s super tasty and pouf magical girl in the middle of the mall?

          • Pinkie says:

            Well I claim Love and I dont like icecream.. but Pocky in the mall and Poof! Obviously would be Starlight, because you said you tranform at night.. or when you are seeing stars, so getting drunk or punched will do it as well.
            Insikidee can be Misfortune, whenever she locks herself out of something or trips poof!
            Scott since he doesnt like magical girls shows should be the one who had to do all the poses and speeched to transform!

  12. alsmangablog says:

    I don’t know… doesn’t the fact that you opened this post by stating that you hadn’t slipped and hit your head act as a counterpoint to you argument? I’m pretty sure magical girls are supposed to be kind of clutzy 😉

  13. Tiger says:

    Hahahahahaha! I loved this so much!

    I think I’m convinced that I too am secretly a magical girl! I finally know why I have all these crazy dreams that always seem so real. In fact, there was this one time where I’d lost my uniquely designed bus card for weeks, but magically I found it in the pocket of one of my polo shirt. I had always suspected that it was magic…

  14. Pete Davison says:

    Well, I’m 100% convinced. Question: do you, perchance, ever find yourself losing memories of where an evening went after testing one of your anime drinking games? If so, I think we may have found your transformation trigger.

    “PRETTY SHOLDI*hic*ER IRINA, MAKE U*hic*P!”

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