Friends, colleagues, fellow anime lovers – do you find yourself frequently surrounded by fine people who seem unable to grasp the true brilliance of anime? Have you ever wished there was a way to make them see the light, without having to waste too much time or effort on it? (or risking going to jail) I know you have! I regularly see articles and posts promising to share the secrets of indoctrinating your loved ones to share your passions, only to bombard you with unpractical, unproven methods such as *finding out what they like and watching an anime together that matches their tastes*. Ain’t no one got time for that stuff.
Today, I’m here to show you some simple basic methods you can do at home to turn anyone you want into an otaku for absolutely free!
Don’t worry, if you are of the vocal subset that specifically want to get your girlfriend interested in anime, I have you covered as well. Just read all the way to the end of this article for some personalized advice targeted to your specific needs. Don’t just skip to the end…I’ll know!
Where other methods essentially ask YOU to do all the work, spending your precious time and resources to create a slow learning program for your friends that may not payoff before months down the line, I am here to offer a sure-fire fast acting alternative.
1. Choosing an anime
Remember your friends are people (mostly) and people are simple and all the same. There’s no need to waste your time with a complicated psychological analysis to try and properly determine their tastes. Simply Google most popular anime and you’ll have your answer. In fact – here I did it for you. Most watched anime is Death Note, Naruto, FMA and SAO just pick any one of those and you should be fine. If you want to be topical, because new stuff always beats not new stuff, Boku no Hero Academia, Attack on Titan or One Piece are your choices du jour.
Remember sticking to super popular stuff has the dual advantage of not only guaranteeing that your friends will love it, but also being fairly easy to find dubbed. Because making people read is a surefire way to lose them.
2. Don’t make people read
Pretend subs don’t even exist. If possible, use the most localized dubs available. Spare your friends the uncomfortable experience of dealing with unfamiliar words and weird sentence structure. But DO occasionally drop random anime words. I would recommend itadakimasu before eating or kanpai when toasting. If you’re a girl maybe drop a few Yoroshiku-ne here and there in your most high-pitched voice.
No more than that though. A few words will mark you as special and unique. Your friends will want to be part of that exclusive club. Use too many and it will make them think they have to take a class. Ewww. Whatever you do, don’t start explaining the context or background of these expressions. You’ll just ruin it.
Even people who don’t watch anime know it’s a great place for T&A. The only reason they aren’t all watching it yet, is because they may be under the mistaken impression that animated T&A is not as alluring. I’m almost sad for these people.
As a public service, begin inundating them with x—rated fan art, promo art used for body pillows and saucy figurines. You may not know all your friends’ specific fetishes, and obviously we are not going to spend time figuring them out, so just flood their inboxes with every type of fanservice available.
Yuri is always fine, but be extremely careful with Yaoi. In fact, you may want to pretend that doesn’t exist either until your friends are well established otakus. When in doubt, just send me the pics, I’ll let you know.
If you’ve followed the above, at this point, your friends are all die-hard anime fans but just in case, here’s one more tip.
4. Bribe them
Invite them over for drinks and/or food and make them watch anime until it becomes a habit for them. Tell them your hot sister/brother is really into people who watch anime. Let them know that the studio/streaming app is running a contest and viewers can win stuff. People love free stuff. It doesn’t even really matter what. Tell them it’s coasters or something.
You can’t really expect anyone to do anything for free these days so you gotta provide incentive. Just make sure to stick to your budget. If you’re going to spend any substantial amount on this, then you might as well just buy new friends.
As an extension of this, you can start introducing them to the truly impressive wide-ranging world of anime merch. People love even not free stuff! After decorating their rooms with a dozen figures of the same chara, they may eventually want to see the anime these are featured in.
As for all you boys and queer girls who are trying to get your girlfriend into this truly fine art form. I never see this for boyfriends for some reason. This is the moment you’ve been waiting for. No gifts or begging needed at all. The very best part is that there is no possibility of this method backfiring, leaving you suddenly single.
Get a girlfriend who likes anime: Tada!
I hear you saying girls don’t like anime, but you are completely wrong. Just go on any random forum (I dunno maybe Yuri on Ice or something) and you will find dozens of passionate fans explaining how all these female anime watchers are ruining the medium. There’s an epidemic of them out there. You may not have noticed because we don’t tend to leave our house much, but we do exist. A lot of us have blogs too!
But you don’t want to break up with your current girlfriend because you loooooooove her? Gah – you are so spoiled! Fine, make everything complicated! OK then, for those precious few that for some reason won’t sacrifice true love for the sake of anime, I still have one last solution for you: Yaoi.
There you have it folks. No longer do you have to suffer the burden of being surrounded by people who are blind to greatness. This method is 100% guaranteed. If you followed each step correctly and your friends still do not like anime, please make sure that:
- your friends are emotionally/intellectually capable of liking anything;
- your friends aren’t simply lying to you because they are your secret nemesis;
- your friends aren’t tsundere; and/or
- your friends are in fact people (not a pumpkin on a broom, because that could be the issue).
Unfortunately, at this time we cannot provide any refunds for any reasons. Thank you for using our easy guide on How to Convert People to Anime Without Really Trying.