**I’m not implying Black Butler is Yaoi, I just liked the gif**
It’s no secret that I enjoy both a good Yaoi and a good Yuri story. In fact, I enjoy both genres equally. There’s nothing at all wrong with that. However, it is a little odd in my specific case. Because you see, I don’t like romance as a genre. Or rather, I’m not that interested in traditional romance anime.
From time to time, I tell myself that if I’m enjoying these Yuri and Yaoi stories, many of which are sweet fluffy tales of love (I still don’t enjoy melodrama), I should give romance another try. And yet, every time I do, it just doesn’t click for me. C’mon Irina, I tell myself, you’re not just fetishizing homosexual relationships… tell me you’re not…. But am I?
There are certainly worse things you can do than romanticize non-traditional orientations. Still, it’s not the best look. However, I have hope that there may be a bit more to it than that. And this is because I really prefer Yaoi and Yuri.
What I mean is that I’ve read a number of books (and western comics) and watched both movies and tv shows, that center around gay couples (of every gender). Some I like, some less. But in any case, I don’t prefer them to traditional romantic novels. The Master and Margarita remains one of my very favourite books and it has a traditional romance at its core. Well ok, traditional is probably not the right word for it, but it is heterosexual.
Same thing with non-anime movies. The fact that the focus is on same gender relationships is neither more nor less likely to make me want to see it or enjoy the narrative. What I’m saying is that there is something in the Yaoi and Yuri genres specifically that attracts me, that has nothing to do with orientation. What’s more, it’s present in both genres, yet not that common in general romance. But what is it?
This is where I need to take a step away from anime again. Although I have stated time and again that I am not a fan of the romance genre (according to my AniList it’s one of the genres I consistently ranks lowest, only two points above Ecchi being the actual lowest. Both of which are above 60% so it’s not like I openly hate them either), I do in fact enjoy the genre in other media.
Like I said, one of my all-time favourite novels is essentially a love story. I enjoy romantic poetry and quite a few movies that fall in that category as well. Although it’s difficult to really put Survive Style 5+ in any clear box (I love that movie so much), one of the main themes is the evolution of a relationship between two people that fall in and out and back in love.
This said, please bear in mind that I’m no expert on the matter. I can really only draw on my personal experiences and since I’m not a huge fan of the anime romance genre (Steins Gate and Nozaki being glaring exceptions), I haven’t gone out of my way to watch that many anime romances. I’m about to make some sweeping assumptions that may not be quite in line with reality but do represent my personal experience.
After thinking about it carefully, I believe my preferences are being influenced by three main elements. Namely, predictability and power dynamics and relatability.
I’ve never been one to crave originality above all. I often find familiarity comforting in fact. So why would predictability be a turnoff? Romance is one of the oldest and most established genres, and its tropes are well worn. Yet, in my experience, it also happens to be one of the genres with the least variability. As if the formula has been perfected and there’s little need for change. I often find the heroes and heroines of such stories more or less interchangeable and the course of events rather obvious from the get-go. But Irina, I tell myself, you could say the exact same thing about sports anime, and you LURVE sports anime! Good point me. But you see, in the case of sports anime, I like those tropes.
This is just a matter of personal preference, but I tend to identify much better with sports protagonists than romantic leading ladies, as such I have a much easier time to relate to and care about what happens to said sports protagonists than romantic leading ladies. It’s as simple as that.
However, Yaoi and Yuri are newer genres. And certainly, much more recent in the general public awareness. They are still establishing their tropes and perfecting their narratives. Sure, there are a few unpleasant trends, such as an unsettling frequency of abuse in the narratives, but nothing is yet so set in stone as to be unavoidable. I often don’t quite know what I’m getting into when I start one of these stories and I like that. I’ll admit, I have hated my share of both Yuri and Yaoi, but I’ve also stayed up until 2h30 am (I get up at 5) to finish one that has absolutely caught my heart.
If you’re familiar with the examples of romance in other mediums that I listed above, then you know that they are also very unusual depictions of relationships. I guess I just like a bit of surprise in my romance. Who knew?
The second point is slightly more important to me, that is power dynamics. This is where my lack of experience with the traditional romance genre will probably affect my point of view the most. In the majority of romance anime and manga I’ve consumed, there is a clear power dynamic. One person is pining and longing for the other who is aloof. One person is if you will “in charge” of the relationship. And it’s not necessarily a question of gender. I think it’s often pretty well spread out.
However, beyond the clear and simple power layout in the story itself, is the way the narrative is constructed. Very often, one person is the object of another’s affection, rather than the subject. The narrative inequality is what I don’t care for at all. Whether they are presented as meek and subservient or as a self-assured tsundere, when the story is dissected, you see that the events are guided by the feelings, needs and decisions of only one of the partners. The narrative is experienced through their eyes and if I don’t happen to relate in any way (or at times even understand what drives them) , then I have a very difficult time engaging in any way.
I will freely acknowledge that this is most likely a short-sighted analysis. I was unlucky and fell on a few romances in a row that happen to have tropes I don’t care for and a narrative construct I dislike, so I attributed them to the genre at large. And I’m happy to watch romance anime that does not follow that narrative layout.
This said, I have found that both the in-story power dynamic and the narrative one tends to be more balanced in the Yaoi/Yuri that I have come across. Of course, there are no traditional gender roles to conform to so that already free up the characters to take turns being dominant or share in the decision making without it being odd or forced in any way. Again that’S the lesser point. As for the narrative, the relationship itself tends to be the focus rather than the individual feelings of the partners in it.
This is my completely unfounded hypothesis, but since the genre is generally marketed to members of the opposite sex (i.e. Yaoi for women and Yuri for men), the stories don’t assume that the readers (watchers…that sounds creepy) know what it is like to be in one of those relationships. So, they concentrate on the whole instead of trying to create a specific character to empathize and identify with. That’s not the idea here. These stories don’t have self insert leads because they are written to be more of a voyeuristic rather than a vicarious experience.
This brings on a natural shift in focus that I personally appreciate. Maybe because, as I mentioned above, I really don’t identify with most romantic heroines. So for me to enjoy a love story, it has to be written in a way that doesn’t require that empathy.
So while I’m sure that the novelty of Yaoi and Yuri as genres do bring something exciting for me, I also think that it’s not purely the LGBTQ+ angle that attracts me to these genres. What about you. Do you like either Yuri or Yaoi? And if so, do you know why?
