You know how people sometimes argue about the relative superiority of certain genres (or the relative suckiness…) No? Trust me, they do. It’s a thing. I don’t know when it started or why, but it happens a lot.
Anywho, I’ve observed these debates from a distance without ever really contributing much or anything at all to them. I find them interesting in principle but sort of inconsequential otherwise. I personally have no stake in these discussions as I don’t really think any genre is either empirically better or worse than any other.
So just to prove myself wrong, today let’s create the BEST anime genre together. That one genre that will 100% please everyone, all the time. That sounds like a perfectly reasonable goal and just the right way to spend my time!
I figure that first we should concentrate on the polarizing genres. Since the defenders of these genres are so passionate, if we can just fix the issues the detractors have, we’ll be all set.
Also, I am ill-informed at best about what’s popular or polarizing at the moment so all “data” in this post is actually random assumption based on very limited casual observation. In other words, up to the highest internet standards!
I’m going to say that the big polarizing genres of the moment are Harems, Hentai (is that really a genre or can any genre also be Hentai?), Isekai and not quite BL. What do I mean by not quite BL? Well I’ve noticed something odd, shows that are actually open BL and advertised as such actually don’t get that much flak, but shows that are full of sensitive boys who look at each other a lot but don’t kiss, really annoy some people! Those are my not quite BL. I could put CGDCT in there as well, even though I think most people enjoy them.
The main problems that tend to be brought up by detractors of harems are weak/uninteresting main characters and occasionally sexist storylines. On the other hand, fans of the genre tends to get really protective of it and praise the feel good atmosphere and potential for a wide variety of strong supporting characters. Any good genre needs to have a good protagonist, so we’ll get back to it later, but the sexist storylines can have an easy fix. Our genre will have a harem element that feels good and allows for a wide variety…yada yada but it will always be mix gender harems. Heck put as many genders as you can think of in there. The more the merrier.
OK, how about Hentai. I figure we remove rape, abuse, incest and pedophilia tropes and that already calms down a lot of people. Our mixed gender harem will be a happy go lucky bunch of consensual and respectful fun times. Also, we will add a little screen in screen that plays a fun little music video during those scenes so that people who aren’t keen on seeing mature content can watch that instead. And now we’ve incorporated idol shows as well. We are great at this!
Next up, Isekais. Why don’t people like Isekais anyways. I like them… I think it may just be genre exhaustion, cause there’s been so many of them. You know what, we’ll make a fish out of water in another world story but we won’t call it an Isekai. That one was easy!
Not quite BL… Well, there may be some other issues at work here that I don’t necessarily want to tackle today but based on the fact that BL is more accepted than not quite BL, let’s just create some boy/boy and girl/girl couples in our mixed harem. I am getting excited now.
We just need to fit the CGDCT part. Now I don’t actually know hat detractors of the genre specifically dislike about it other than it’s not for them, it’s kind of boring or it’s all the same. Truth be told that can pretty much apply to any anime. We’re going to get our cute girls in the girl part of the mixed harem and if they kiss each other than can count as a cute thing. They’ll do it cutely…
So now we just have to make sure it’s not boring or all the same, which brings us straight back to our super amazing protagonist. Everything hinges on this, guys. In order to bring this genre home, we need an original, exciting, relatable to all people and not annoying lead character!
…And that’s not really going to happen, is it? No one character can actually fill all those criteria at once. This is quite the pickle. Not to mention that until our anime comes out, we really have no clue how audiences will react. And this is the most important part! Kinda…
O.k. – suggestion! Every week a fan favourite character from another show will come in and be our protagonist. A sort of reverse Monster of the Week (a hero of the week)! And that gives us access to that sweet sweet pre-established fanbase. We are going to get so many awards!
I think it’s safe to say we have just created the perfect anime. The idea that shows need stories is way outdated. What we need however is a nice name for this new genre. I suggest Ranzatsu! What do you think?
