It sounds like hyperbole doesn’t it. Some almost meaningless opening sentence inspired by YouTube culture where creators have to actively mimic conversations. No news articles ever start this way. And although it is a bit of a mindless greeting, it’s also partly sincere. Since I blog often, I have had the good fortune to get to know some of you a bit through comments and your own posts, and I do consider you friends. I hope to meet more.
I was thinking about this somewhat odd dynamic the other day. For someone as deeply introverted as myself, multiple connections like this are a very special, even unique state. I enjoy it a lot. My introspection did lead me to realize something. I rarely talk to you guys about what’s happening with me.
I mean I talk about myself incessantly. I try to be open and personal in pretty much all of my posts. However, I don’t do deep emotional poems or diary entries. I don’t give you updates on my life outside the blog. I generally try not to burden you guys with health issues or emotional crisis. Although I don’t deny my inclinations I’ve also avoided being too insistent on my political leanings (these come through more in the comments section). I’ve actively avoided discussing my love life.
It’s not you guys, it’s me. I’ve always played it close to the vest. I keep myself internalized. I don’t really know why.
Today, we are going to change all that. Ok well not ALL that. Almost none of that really. I just wanted to take a minute and catch up with you. Let you know how things are going on my end and all that.
Things are good. How are you?
No but really things are good! I ended last year a but out of breath. An exponential increase in work in my professional life coupled with not always reasonable self imposed expectations for my home life and a less than healthy routine had me just plain exhausted. I started noticing the effects on my blogging. I hope it didn’t come through too much.
It wasn’t so much in the posting, as writing and publishing have always been my favorite part. But I did start running out of ideas as my brain was busy with other things. The usual snarky or insulting comments where starting to wear me down in a way that had never happened before. I also found myself more irritable when reading posts (even my own) and just less motivated to interact. Sorry about that guys. I was just really tired.
A lot of great bloggers had also left the platform or cutback a lot on posting. Then there were some people I liked that just stopped visiting my blog which bummed me out even more. I had heard some bloggers decide to cut back on visiting other blogs so they could concentrate on their own and I considered doing the same. Seems I’m not disciplined enough though and curiosity quickly drove me back. I was at a loss. I really figured the situation would get unsustainable in the long run but I was too tired to come up with any solutions.
And then, it just passed. I wish I could tell you what happened. Give you some brilliant trick you can use when you’re feeling rundown. I cut a half hour out of my sleep schedule and amped up my workouts a bit. I’m sure that had some effect. Otherwise I just felt reenergize as 2019 set in.
I found myself excited by all those half hearted plans I had made at the end of the year. Slowly, post ideas started coming to my mind again. I’m still way too busy with work but somehow, it no longer bleeds over in my personal life.
Right now I am enjoying watching anime. Whether it’s the seasonal shows I’ve picked up or the older series I’m binging, I look forward to going home and indulging in them in the evening. Even shows I did not enjoy on their own merits, I am enjoying analysing what didn’t work for me and why. A renewed appreciation for both the artistry and technique of anime has rekindled my passion for the medium.
As for this blog. I think the change in my perspective is even more drastic. I haven’t had this much fun with it in a long time. Sure the same frustrations and challenges remain but they are greatly outweighed by the rewards. I am loving all the new blogs I’ve discovered while the The ones I have been following for a while feel like comfortable old friends. It’s almost like I’m seeing this world for the first time.
This is a silly useless post. If you’re still waiting for it to go somewhere, I got some bad news. This is it. We’re friends, or at least I would like us to be so I’m telling you about a rough patch I went through. I’m also trying to share the present good times for that same reason. I suspect you are a big part of what cheered me up.
And also because we’re going to be friends now! You can tell me about any rough patches as well. Or your good times! We’ll celebrate your successes together!